I got "Alahoyus" added to the URBAN DICTIONARY!!!!

!!! THORRIORS!!! I got "Alahoyus" added to the Urban Dictionary!!!

Go HEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEE to see the definition of a greeting brought from our world to yours, and NOW added into your lexicon.





#Thorriorsunite

THAT'S WHAT I CALL "EFFORTS REALIZED" JACK!!

new Wired magazine reflects CARNOSAUR plot

I was pissing at a cookout the other day at my friend's house and I saw the new Wired magazine on the back of his toilet. Normally I wouldn't really give too much of a shit unless I was actually TAKING a shit, BUT something caught my eye. The cover of this reads: "Scientists know how to turn a chicken into a dinosaur. What could possibly go wrong?" Well- I've got one word for ya- CARNOSAUR!! Didn't they learn anything from Doc and that hippie chick and fucking Clint Howard? Diane Ladd is a madman or a madWOman! DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE!! ABORT MISSION! I'm sorry, but you need only watch as the T REX runs rampant and the heroes are killed in the end anyway to stop the virus from spreading to the rest of the populace. I thought these dudes over at WIRED magazine were smart. I guess I'll have to watch the sequels now to find out what to do next. Oh, well...

BEST SITE EVER

http://www.hotchickspickingupdogshit.com

Oddbox- weird news from around the world...

I love Oddbox over @ the BBC.  here's a link to the newest one.  I think they put one out a week.  hell, it may be more than that... im not sure.  Highlights?  "Cheesus".

"There's shit in our meat Harry"

96,000 lbs of ground beef recalled.

News Nuglets

-- Obama claims troops are out by 2010.  which means at best, they start by 10, and it actually says that even the reserves are pulled by the end of 2011.  i guess we'll need them here for the end of the world in 2012.

-- Coen bros make a commercial in an snl manner to bust big coals chops:

-- octopus causes worst news story presented by cnn ever.  I cannot believe how bad this is.  Its the reason that local news is always a source of entertainment.  I feel like they just made this bad on purpose.  Does anyone else get what im sayin here?  On a lighter note, I ate octopus in Greece.  My friend Mano kept calling it "octopussy".  "Do you like the octopussy?",  "ask you friend is she likes the octopussy."

--this is a great link to some british weird news show connected with the bbc.  its called oddbox.  and on this little 5 minute episode, you get an 82 year old metalhead, a game called cornish hurling where the whole town just beats the hell out of each other for a ball, battle of the oranges, which is sort of like it sounds, and all kinds of other weird rad newsbits.  enjoy.

I predict the future- Porn airs during Super Bowl

ok.  here's where i prove my powers.  Last night in tuscon, Arizona, viewers saw 10 seconds of pornography flash on the screen.  This just happens to be the year when everyone has to change their tv to a digital format.  This just happens to be that month.  And so, that means if you don't change your rabbit ears, you won't be able to watch the shows that are on your local stations, after like February 17th...  Ok, who do you think gives the ratings to all those shows that are so popular, but i don't know anyone who watches them, and can't think of how they've been around for so long, like CSI and Law & Order and all their 20 offshoots, or Everyone loves Raymond, or the one with the fat guy who's kind of like Ralph Kramden and he's in a new movie about a mallcop?  I'll tell you who.  Old people.  Older folks who don't give a shit about what they watch, they'll watch whatever's on.  Them, and other people who are too financially burdened to afford cable, and by now could give a shit b/c they've been without it for so long.  They watch those shows.  And a significant portion of these people are gonna be pissed and will not spend money to change it over because of these reasons.  They have been fighting the FCC on this for a while, and now,  I foresee that since this incident happened on a digital format, all the religious right and crazies are going to point and use this as an excuse to say that "satellite pirates are beaming transmissions into our christian homes!"  and through the miracle of this forcing of transition and technology upgrade, more analog pirate stations will arise!  This is a great day for freedom of speech kids!  or maybe i'm just ramblin...

Dude dissolves 300 people in acid: A lesson in hyperfocusing & a reflection on the state of gruesome in North America

Man, the hits just keep on coming.  Talk about news that everyone likes to forget.  This guy, "The Stewmaker", just admitted to dissolving over 300 people in FUCKING ACID MAN!!!  He claims he did it for this new mysterious bigtime drug trafficker down in mehico named- El Teo.  I'm telling you, you just can't get better fodder for novels and movies than the real thing anymore.  But, they'll still be talking about the little Caylee girl for months and months, and I'm sorry, that's a heartbreaking tale.  Really it is.  But, we all know what happened there... Let the police collect the evidence and figure it out and move on to something else for a while.  I don't need Nancy Grace yelling in my face all night long about every nook and cranny of this case.  She's talked to the grandfather, the housesitter, she asked the fucking dog his opinion.  God, how does this woman have a television show?  Sorry.  What about the real shit?  Why do they hyperfocus on one story?  There have been hundreds of poor little baby girls and boys snatched up since this one...  How come no one is talking about the Chinese guy who decapitated and stabbed the chick at Virginia Tech last week?

And why the hell are so many exchange students killing people at Virginia Tech?

And has everyone forgotten about the guy who chopped off the dudes head on the Greyhound Bus in Canada last fall?

I just feel like our gruesomeness is picked and chosen for us, and i'm sick and tired of it.  All these stories have importance, but I will no longer let Nancy Grace decide what terrible heinous crime i need to know about night after night.  I never need to hear her voice again.

I guess the point here is, there are dudes out there that will stab you, chop your head off, and drown you in a vat of acid like we were in some kind of Vincent Price art house horror movie.  So watch your back, and try not to hyperfocus on any particular thing... its just not healthy.

Here's a bonus for ya:  Who ever thought that Iceland may be the first country in line to erupt into total chaos b/c of all this financial horsewash?

*UPDATE* police capture fugitive pilot guy

so, the story continues with our mysterious finance smooth talker dude who tried to split town, jumps out of his plane, pretty much tells the police who he is, then splits from a hotel, and goes to a storage unit where he stashed a dirt-bike all rambo style, then drove to florida (for some reason)  i mean, i would've went north.  why go toward where you crashed the plane?  This guy is a character!  anyway, he ends up slashing his wrists, but he didnt do a good enough job, so they caught him anyway.

vicious panda mauls third victim (you thought they were cute)

ha-HAH! but you were wrong.  my advice, never fall or jump into a panda pit.

shady finance dude crashes plane, then hightails it

my pick for the best news story that i've heard in over a year.  This has TV Movie written all over it.  Read the article and tell me you don't wanna hear about what happens next.  I've only known about this for five minutes, but the dude is two things.  Super smart (putting plane on auto pilot so it crashed 220 miles away from where he bailed!) and Super fucking stupid.  They never would have known where he was if he hadn't went up to the cops!  what a complete moron!

Navy creates Anti-pirate task force

great.  talk about Johnny Come Lately.  today the navy unveiled plans for their new anti-pirate task force.  That's about 4 months too late for some of the crew of the Ukrainian tanker hijacked in September.  I guess they heard the news about India or China's new anti-pirate taskforces that made headlines last month.  i love how in the cnn article, the US navy say they expect other countries to come around and join the effort soon.