watch the new southparks

yo... go over to southpark studios and watch all the new season 13.  its been great so far.  here's a few clips.

hotel blues or "buy my product"

Election is one of the creepiest movies ever.  And why pray tell, am i watching shitty edited versions of movies that ive seen a million times on tbs and tnt?  well, its because we are fucking snowed in in Rawlins, Wyoming.  Its been snowing on us for days.  All thru Utah, Washington, Oregon, and I assume we'll get more of the same in Colorado.  BUT... don't get me wrong... i love the snow.  I just don't understand how the fuck I don't have any phone service right now.  Billions of dollars spent on satellites and hundreds spent a month on these bills, and some flurries stir up, and now i can't watch HBO?  We only get a few days off ya know.  We are in the flat lands!  There's like 15-20 phone towers in eyeshot.  Anyway, i'm really not that concerned.  Plus its kind of funny watching scenes from KILL BILL and hearing the dude say, "my name's buck and i like to.... party???"  and its not even synced up.  They even changed Pussy Wagon to Party Wagon.  even on the fucking keys!  ok... topic 2:  Best thing on television?  Forget that i always say LOST.  The real entertainment is in infomercials.  Sham-wow, Slap Chop, bowflex, Pro-activ, hairplugs for men, the one with the guy who wants you to clean your colon out (who looks like a greasy john waters), the one with the background that looks like larry king live, so that they can trick old people into watching it and thinking its news.  All the different ones about losing weight, or making your weiner longer.  the fucking testimonials are hilarious.  shit, i don't even know what i'm talking about.  im still laughing about that spongebob burger king commercial.  I like square butts.  what can i say?

What would Cormac McCarthy Do? or "Booty is Booty"

holy shit man, we have been going so hard for the last few days.  Hahaha.  Once again back on the roller coaster.  How to recap all the things going on in my gordon?  Ill start off by recanting a bit of the Golden Gods Revolver Awards in LA.  Got to see a bunch of dudes, hang with a ton of dudes, meet a ton of dudes, and imbibe a good amount of spirits.  Megadeth ripped 3 jams at the end, Peace Sells, Sweating Bullets, and Holy Wars!!  Fucking killed it.  Ol Pete Macy from Early Man hung with us all week.  Bummers that they had to bail on the tour, but i hope Mike feels better and his arm and back heal up well.  Pete had a cutey lil friend who looked like Parker Posey with him.  She said, "I hope they play Holy Wars", and ill be damned if they didnt rip right into it.  Color me impressed.  Not sure if ive ever even had a girlfriend who wouldve been able to name a Megadeth song, much less magically make them play songs at the whisper from her lips.

Hung w/ Lemmy for a bit, met Dave Lombardo (who was stoked on VT- made me blush), and basically had a few other lil bits of funniness go down that i'm not really at liberty to discuss here on the world wide web.  But, don't feel left out, Video of the night coming soon.  Should be worth the watch.

ok, moving on, we just jammed a few nights with Turbonegro and Kandi Coded.  Super awesome to hang w/ Jaime and Johnny and Jack again.  And good to see Knut back out, and Happy Tom and the whole crew.  The shows went off.  Thanx Portland and Seattle.

All day today we drove in and out of the snow... thru the mountains.  It was amazing.  Passed by the 45th Parallel.  That's halfway betwixt the equator and the north pole!  And it was snowing and sunny @ the same time!  I felt like i was in the fucking twilight zone.  Then later on tonight, after we got a hotel in Baker City, Oregon... I was hanging out here, walking across the parking lots to get to some food, and the wind was just blowing SO hard, and SOO cold across the plains, and I was thinking to myself, what the fuck would it have been like to be a cowboy out in the plains.  I mean, granted, this is a bit high up for them, but I mean, the Oregon Trail went thru here, so.... Someone experienced this shit way back when.  I was just thinking how it would be if we had no motel/hotel or whatever to stop at.  Because there isn't shit out here really.  Its one of those, get the fuck outta town kinda towns.  18 or life, know what i'm sayin?  But, actually, itd be a lot worse if it was like 1820.  I mean, you'd have to build a fire to stay alive.  Every day, youd have to work on that goddamn fire.  Or build another, or if you were being chased by the law or outlaws, or natives, or a posse... you'd have to hide and try not to be spotted while not freezing to death.  I mean its bone chilling/stop you in your tracks cold.  And there is nothing and i mean NOTHING for miles upon miles upon miles.  Trying to think about how much you'd be able to take before you just gave up.  If you haven't read it, you should all pass around a copy of Blood Meridian by cormac mccarthy.  its a fucking wonderful book.  Anyway.  Its really overwhelming if you stop and think and freeze out there for a few minutes.  It makes me know that even though i feel like im try to be prepared for anything, I must remember that anything means ANYTHING.  shit can and will get crazy.  shit IS crazy.  Some of these places are disappear forever scary.

last but not least... here's a band ol guarden thorr sent me a link to... Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs.  Badass ol Aussies.  Give this thing a good long listen when you have time.

alahoyus to yall,

valient

oh yeah, ps:  How awesome is that new burger king commercial w/ Spongebob and Sir Mixalot???  I like square butts!!  "Booty is Booty."

back on the roooad

Lots of driving.  I would put a bunch of o's in the the word "lots" to emphasize how many lots, but then it looks like loots instead of lots.  But, suffice to say, we've been driving a shitload.  Actually easier to keep up with the shenanigans first hand on twitter.  i'm @ valientthorr on there.  What else?  Bad food, crummy hotels.  GRRRREAT shows!  Couple rad gigs coming up with TURBONEGRO!!!  portland and seattle get ready!  I just watched all 6 episodes of "Eastbound & Down".  So unbelievable.  my favorite quote- "i know everything there is to know about relationships- just ask my 2nd wife Tina- and if Montel Williams wants to talk anymore shit, he can suck my dick, because those charges have been dropped..."  Only North Carolina could bring you a character like Kenny Powers.

Slingblade morning.

Dwight Yoakum was asking for it.  So, first of all, yesterday we did Apocalypse Now Redux when waking up, and now it was Slingblade.  Somehow watching other people having a harder time than I'm having has been comforting... for the last couple of days anyway.  Not much else to report.  Gearing up for a very exciting tour with Early Man starting next week.  Ol' Pete Macy has "done come to hang" with us down in Costa Mesa.  More partying until Thursday.  If you're in the Southern California area, Detroit Bar on Thursday, Be there or be parallelogram.  Here's one more beautiful pic of some of my buddies' daughters.

morrrrre tourrrrr pixxxxx

morrrre tourrrr pixxxx

Morrre Tourrr Pixxx

Relaxation

great things.  BBQ today.  Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Cheezy Onion Bagel this morning.  Woke up late and watched Apocalypse Now Redux.  What a heavy flick.

Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper supporting roles are both unbelievable.  Ok, so then after all the bbq, i went over and watched the new Punisher.  Holy Shit.... There are some amazing fucked up brutal killings, but juxtapose that with some terrible terrible terrible dialogue, courtesy of none other than "McNutty" himself from The Wire.  (I know its McNulty, but I prefer Bub's pronunciation.)  Anyway, def worth the watch if you love seeing mobsters shot point blank in the face.  Def better than the Dolph Lundgren shagrin from the late 80s (?).  Other than that, I can't comment on the Thomas Jane one from a few years back, b/c it looked like such a piece of shit, I couldnt even get excited about it.  Ok, enough about fucking Frank Castle.  We have to deal with enough of him on a daily basis (if you're hip to be square) wink wink nudge nudge.  I hung with lots of doggies and kitties today, and fucking partyied up on the rope swing.  The dudes were shredding the pool, so Ill put up a ton of pics tomorrow.  Word Berd.

bad vloggger

things started out SOO promising.  Sorry for the lack of updates.... i guess its a case of the old story where the poet or artist becomes so wrapped up in life that he has no time to reflect and reinterpret it anymore.  Bummer.  haha.  What was it that Jim Croce said?  "You never have the time to do things you love to do once you find them..."  I'm paraphrasing.  Anyway, the southwest was just as radical as the southeast and mideast.  Best shows we've ever had in San Diego and Phoenix... and Long Beach and Los Angeles were nothing to sneeze at either...  Ill tell ya about the bands we've been jamming with tomorrow.  Thanx to all the thorriors for making those shows happenin'.  Dudes bringing 8 other dudes will do that to a party.  "you know what im talking about?"  What else?  Well,  here's a riddle... every right piece of my puzzle just won't fit.  I'm starting to think someone mixed up the fucking boxes.  Just went to a baby shower today.  Ate an amazing amount of cheeses, crackers, pretzel sticks w/ white chocolate drizzled on them, pizza, sandwiches, capri suns, and these hard bread stick things w/ some artichoke dip on them... INSANE!  maybe that's over doing it.  "insane..."  Better?  THEN, after hanging here at the skate house for a few hours playing on the rope swing, I checked out Adventureland, and had some Old Spaghetti Warehouse down in newport.  Fullfilling day, even if i'm only speaking about my belly.  Ok, more stuff soon, I have to go, b/c it's chilly outside where i'm having to stand in order to properly steal some wifi from the neighbors.  Cheeers.