bad/awesome flixxx review: Superfuzz (1980)

Ok, so for the last movie... I got called out for reviewing an awesome/awesome movie... so, the only way to redeem myself was to find and review a truly bad/bad movie. Then the balance shall be restored. I have to admit, when I was a kid, this movie was awesome. I even remember when Robocop came out, thinking that somehow they had gotten part of the idea from this movie. Upon long overdue rewatching... this thing is a pile of dogshit. Terence Hill and Ernest Borgnine in SUPERFUZZ!



So the story goes, Dave Speed is this rookie cop in Miami who is always goofing up. Ernest Borgnine is the sarge, and he sends him out to collect the bread on this parking ticket... Speed goes to it, finds out he has to deliver the ticket way out on a deserted Native American reservation. He has to canoe there. So, while he's on his way to do that... NASA decides to fire an experimental missile over the reservation. I have know idea how this was supposed to fly in the real world, but I guess it WAS 1980. Anyway, the reservation has been evacuated and Speed is like, "where is everyone?" He starts shouting hello, figures it a lost cause, hangs the ticket on a teepee, and decides to split. When he tries to get back in the canoe, there's an alligator in it. At first he's gonna shoot it, but he can't bring himself to do it, so instead he decides to fire his pistol into the air. When he shoots into the air, the fucking bullet hits the rocket?!? causing it to explode and then mushroom cloud around him, covering him in this red powder. No word on the condition of the alligator.
Everyone thinks he dies, but he's fine. When he gets back to town, he sees Borgnine, who has been busted down to traffic duty for sending an officer into the shit. Borgnine busts his chops and calls bullshit on him even going out there because he says nothing could survive that. Right away Speed notices that he has powers "far beyond those of mortal men". Powers like super strength, speed, telekinesis, he sees the future, etc. But no one believes him because the powers don't work all the time. The gag is, his powers fail if he sees the color red.
He starts to fight crime, and eventually the mob who are counterfeiting bills around town. They kill the Sarge and frame Speed. Then the cops try to kill Speed, unsuccessfully.
Probably the worst thing about the flick was the constant theme song. "Supah-Supah". Anyway, this is cornball to the max, sped up film for special effects, mobsters that counterfeit one dollar bills instead of 100s. Its killer if you're 9 years old... other than that... skip it.