Friday, August 27, 2010

bad/awesome flixxx review: Cleopatra Jones (1973)

"Hair's like a woman. You treat it good and it treats you good. Ain't that right honey? You hear what I'm saying? Yeah, you got to hold it, caress it, and love it. And if your hair gets out of line you take a scissor and say, "Hair I'm going to cut you." - Doodlebug

"that's what I call sum extra, HEAVY, DUBBLE-DUTY stuff!! MMM-MMMM!"- ol dude

A high quality blaxploitation flick if I ever saw one, you can tell they actually dropped some duckets on this one! Like the funky female version of James Bond, there was no tougher than Tamara Dobson. Also starring Bernie Casey, Antonio Fargas, and a hilarious Shelly Winters, bad/awesome flicks review takes on CLEOPATRA JONES!

What I found impressive right in the beginning of this one compared to others of the genre was that they introduce the character as she is off in Turkey infiltrating someone's poppy field and instructs some official looking dudes to "blow up the poppy field". The wide frame has just had her fly in over this beautiful turkish landscape by helicopter and sashay down through a double line of all these Turkish dignitaries looking like one of the most fashionably dressed and beautiful super models one could ever hope to see, and then she's the one telling people to blow up these poppies, and our work will never be done, til we "get it all off the streets and outta the reach of the kids". Typical fare for blaxploi films, but both beautifully orchestrated and believably rendered. I mean the director wants us to know we are dealing with one bad mamma, and it comes across. From there, we are introduced to "Mommy" (Shelly Winters) a big shit dope dealer back stateside, who is absolutely furious at Cleo for burning up her poppy field. Mommy's business is already deteriorating and Cleo's blow has proved to be a breaking point. Mommy comes up with a plan to get Cleo back stateside so she can keep all of her crops from being destroyed. She calls in a favor to a crooked cop and has Cleo's pet project Safe house for kids trying to get off drugs raided, and a huge bag of heroin planted on one of the residents.

Cleopatra comes back to town, and is totally pissed. She kills a couple dudes straight off the airplane, and just flashes her "special agent" badge and walks straight outta the fucking airport!! haha!! no questions asked! I know shit was different back then, but come on! No paperwork whatsoever?? Bullshit! Anyway, I guess I shouldn't give away too much on this one, but let's just say there's a special appearance by Florida from Good Times!! and her sons are these bad ass karate dudes! (of course!) and what else? Cleopatra drives the sweetest corvette you've ever seen with a crazy extra on the T-top that makes it raise so it doesn't mess up her afro when she's getting out of the car!! TUFF!! pretty sick car chase through the same drainage ditches that are in T2 between her vette and a badass mustang, a hilarious character named Doodlebug who has some pretty funny sidekicks, some motorcross, and plenty of action. You can find this guy at Big Lots for like 5 bucks or maybe even less. Pick it up!

No comments:

Post a Comment