Dear women everywhere, this is what I want:

Smith - Baby its you by throatwobler

"Put a little insanity on yer potato"

"you shoulda seen that cocksucker's face when i took out that knife"

A Real Crusher

seriously... really wanted to come up with a crusher... all i could get out was, "nadda finga!"

kids say the darndest things

this clip a friend sent me makes me laugh so hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dXGj_-orxw&feature=player_embedded

Chonto

Everyone watch this.

Oddbox- weird news from around the world...

I love Oddbox over @ the BBC.  here's a link to the newest one.  I think they put one out a week.  hell, it may be more than that... im not sure.  Highlights?  "Cheesus".

Bootz is back

i have a lot of drawing to do, but heres another dose of Bootz.  "HAAAAAeeeeeeeYYY Evvvvrybody!"

let me let you know!

Bootz Durango

this dude is hilarious.  thanx to Lanezor for posting the link over @ thorriors.com

looks like there are some more vids by him over there. apparently a greensboro college radio dj.

watch the new southparks

yo... go over to southpark studios and watch all the new season 13.  its been great so far.  here's a few clips.

What would Cormac McCarthy Do? or "Booty is Booty"

holy shit man, we have been going so hard for the last few days.  Hahaha.  Once again back on the roller coaster.  How to recap all the things going on in my gordon?  Ill start off by recanting a bit of the Golden Gods Revolver Awards in LA.  Got to see a bunch of dudes, hang with a ton of dudes, meet a ton of dudes, and imbibe a good amount of spirits.  Megadeth ripped 3 jams at the end, Peace Sells, Sweating Bullets, and Holy Wars!!  Fucking killed it.  Ol Pete Macy from Early Man hung with us all week.  Bummers that they had to bail on the tour, but i hope Mike feels better and his arm and back heal up well.  Pete had a cutey lil friend who looked like Parker Posey with him.  She said, "I hope they play Holy Wars", and ill be damned if they didnt rip right into it.  Color me impressed.  Not sure if ive ever even had a girlfriend who wouldve been able to name a Megadeth song, much less magically make them play songs at the whisper from her lips.

Hung w/ Lemmy for a bit, met Dave Lombardo (who was stoked on VT- made me blush), and basically had a few other lil bits of funniness go down that i'm not really at liberty to discuss here on the world wide web.  But, don't feel left out, Video of the night coming soon.  Should be worth the watch.

ok, moving on, we just jammed a few nights with Turbonegro and Kandi Coded.  Super awesome to hang w/ Jaime and Johnny and Jack again.  And good to see Knut back out, and Happy Tom and the whole crew.  The shows went off.  Thanx Portland and Seattle.

All day today we drove in and out of the snow... thru the mountains.  It was amazing.  Passed by the 45th Parallel.  That's halfway betwixt the equator and the north pole!  And it was snowing and sunny @ the same time!  I felt like i was in the fucking twilight zone.  Then later on tonight, after we got a hotel in Baker City, Oregon... I was hanging out here, walking across the parking lots to get to some food, and the wind was just blowing SO hard, and SOO cold across the plains, and I was thinking to myself, what the fuck would it have been like to be a cowboy out in the plains.  I mean, granted, this is a bit high up for them, but I mean, the Oregon Trail went thru here, so.... Someone experienced this shit way back when.  I was just thinking how it would be if we had no motel/hotel or whatever to stop at.  Because there isn't shit out here really.  Its one of those, get the fuck outta town kinda towns.  18 or life, know what i'm sayin?  But, actually, itd be a lot worse if it was like 1820.  I mean, you'd have to build a fire to stay alive.  Every day, youd have to work on that goddamn fire.  Or build another, or if you were being chased by the law or outlaws, or natives, or a posse... you'd have to hide and try not to be spotted while not freezing to death.  I mean its bone chilling/stop you in your tracks cold.  And there is nothing and i mean NOTHING for miles upon miles upon miles.  Trying to think about how much you'd be able to take before you just gave up.  If you haven't read it, you should all pass around a copy of Blood Meridian by cormac mccarthy.  its a fucking wonderful book.  Anyway.  Its really overwhelming if you stop and think and freeze out there for a few minutes.  It makes me know that even though i feel like im try to be prepared for anything, I must remember that anything means ANYTHING.  shit can and will get crazy.  shit IS crazy.  Some of these places are disappear forever scary.

last but not least... here's a band ol guarden thorr sent me a link to... Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs.  Badass ol Aussies.  Give this thing a good long listen when you have time.

alahoyus to yall,

valient

oh yeah, ps:  How awesome is that new burger king commercial w/ Spongebob and Sir Mixalot???  I like square butts!!  "Booty is Booty."

Relaxation

great things.  BBQ today.  Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Cheezy Onion Bagel this morning.  Woke up late and watched Apocalypse Now Redux.  What a heavy flick.

Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper supporting roles are both unbelievable.  Ok, so then after all the bbq, i went over and watched the new Punisher.  Holy Shit.... There are some amazing fucked up brutal killings, but juxtapose that with some terrible terrible terrible dialogue, courtesy of none other than "McNutty" himself from The Wire.  (I know its McNulty, but I prefer Bub's pronunciation.)  Anyway, def worth the watch if you love seeing mobsters shot point blank in the face.  Def better than the Dolph Lundgren shagrin from the late 80s (?).  Other than that, I can't comment on the Thomas Jane one from a few years back, b/c it looked like such a piece of shit, I couldnt even get excited about it.  Ok, enough about fucking Frank Castle.  We have to deal with enough of him on a daily basis (if you're hip to be square) wink wink nudge nudge.  I hung with lots of doggies and kitties today, and fucking partyied up on the rope swing.  The dudes were shredding the pool, so Ill put up a ton of pics tomorrow.  Word Berd.

News Nuglets

-- Obama claims troops are out by 2010.  which means at best, they start by 10, and it actually says that even the reserves are pulled by the end of 2011.  i guess we'll need them here for the end of the world in 2012.

-- Coen bros make a commercial in an snl manner to bust big coals chops:

-- octopus causes worst news story presented by cnn ever.  I cannot believe how bad this is.  Its the reason that local news is always a source of entertainment.  I feel like they just made this bad on purpose.  Does anyone else get what im sayin here?  On a lighter note, I ate octopus in Greece.  My friend Mano kept calling it "octopussy".  "Do you like the octopussy?",  "ask you friend is she likes the octopussy."

--this is a great link to some british weird news show connected with the bbc.  its called oddbox.  and on this little 5 minute episode, you get an 82 year old metalhead, a game called cornish hurling where the whole town just beats the hell out of each other for a ball, battle of the oranges, which is sort of like it sounds, and all kinds of other weird rad newsbits.  enjoy.

California bill seeks to legalize and tax marijuana

this is the biggest foray into marijuana legalization i've ever seen. Sure there's places just like california where you can smoke and its basically decriminalized... Denver, parts and parts of alaska come to mind... But there are many bills like this that haven't gotten nearly as much attention in the past few years, in weird places like North & South Dakota, and other farm states, that HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN that all you'd have to do to generate a shitload of revenue was to tax weed.

terms of service violation? for jamming funkadelic? wtf??

it has come to my attention that somehow and someway, the nice lady who posted Valient Thorr as Funkadelic has come under fire last week for posting that video and another one that had some band covering Bryan Adams.  And from what i heard, it was Bryan Adams peoples fault.  But the video clearly says that its VT as Funkadelic.  So I don't understand what rules were broken.  Karen Mann, a longtime blogger, has had her youtube account pulled!!  Now, I'm hearing this all secondhand, so I'll get the scoop and post an update.  If its a matter of renaming it and posting it again, well, we'll just see what we can do.  I was under the impression that there was footie of the whole shebang, not just the first few jams.  Cause believe me, once we started getting down, it just kept getting better as it rolled along.  I don't see what all the hub bub is in the first place.  I'm sure someone will feel the need to tell me.  But, c'mon?!?!  What about all the tribute bands and cover groups the world over.  This was a one time event for charity, not us fronting like we Appetite for Destruction or Baaad, or some other band who makes a ton of bread impersonating groups for a living.  what a load of shit.  george clinton, say it ain't so!  more soon...

best line in a movie EVER.

new york city recap

holy shit.  too much to tell.  But i have to try.  its been a hell of a week.  Last week after we did the benefit show in Raleigh as Funkadelic, Nitewolf and I split up to Jersey in the Cutlass on one hour sleep to see Metallica.  And I'm here to tell you that they rocked.  No bullshit.  They really killed it.  They played a ton of old stuff and a couple tracks from the new album.  I haven't heard it, but it doesn't really matter to me if it sucks or not.  Live, they pulled it off in the same vein as the old stuff, so it had the fast pounding rhythm that made me like them in the first place.  I dont know any of the shit after the black album, so im not sure if they played any of that or not.  I will say that there wasn't a point where i was like, "well, this one sucks."  and thats a good thing.  Thanx to the Sword for the sweet floor tix.  We were right there ten feet from Hetfield and Hammett.  Nuts.  Then around midnight, we went up to go see our buddies in Golden Error play in Brooklyn.  Then they took us over to this spot that we'd play later in the week called the Shank.  Its a new afterhours warehouse party spot in Brooklyn.  We partied there til it wasn't nighttime anymore.  Butts shaking, everyone just rocking out to some 50s and early 60s 45s thrown down by Jonathan Toobin, all night long.  Then, finally- we slept.  Now, i know i was there for like 4 more days between then and our first show, but to tell you the truth, a lot of it kind of blurs together.  I know that it snowed one day really hard, and it layed and was beautiful, and i know later i fell on the ice and got a nasty bruise on my side.  I know that i had many amazing meals, and i know that i spent too much money in many different ways.  I got fucking ripped off getting my alternator fixed, but thats mechanics in manhattan for ya.  I had some killer pizza @ my buddys spot in Brooklyn called Roberta's.  But i'm blanking on most everything else.  So fast forward a bit, and all the dudes are in nyc now and its a bitter BITTER cold day.  Im saying 20 at the highest.  in the teens for sure, and the wind chill coming off the east river was un-fucking-believable.  We manage get over to the event, and all day we are trying to stay warm.  We play (we slay).  Snowboarders fly thru the air.  Some other band plays.  We drink.  a lot.  a whole lot.  Then things are getting crazy.  I played/ talked video games with Spider-Man's girlfriend for a hot second.  But she wasn't there with Spider-man, she was with some dude who looked more like Elongated Man. Food is served.  Pisses are taken behind the tent.  Models are sucking down our rum.  Little kids are being ushered out.  Drunken howls are loosed.  Pants are dropped (not mine).  Tents are cleared.  I snag a pass to take pics at the top of the ramp.  Its so cold that my legs are knotting up @ the top of this 8 story ramp, and i'm hoping that if i fall, i can fall to the right so that i just end up sliding down this enormous fucking thing.  I wander back over to the stage just as things are wrapping up. The snowboarding goes over time.  Anthrax plays 4 songs, and are shut down for time.  BUT- they did get to play "Bring the Noise" with Chuck D from Public Enemy.  That's a highlight.  So then, after another night in the swank Thompson LES hotel they put us up in, we sit around all day (in my car) waiting to play this party.  And we rocked, and then it was time to split.  Debaucherous.  and really, waay to much to actually recap in a few paragraphs.  I know i'll be remembering shit from this trip for weeks.  So so so good to see all of you characters from all the different time streams of my life.

BONUS.  got to stop in DC for a record fair today.

obsessed

sometimes i just can't get thoughts outta my head.  I woke myself up this morning worrying about things that are beyond my control.  Once you've done everything possible, you don't have to give up, but you've gotta "stop thinking about it".  that's where joey comes in.

The Kickass blaze Raleigh

This video is from the other night in Raleigh @ the Dive Bar.  maybe turn the sound down just a tad?  Its not bad, just recorded close, so its loud.
Wanna see another? Go here.

Video of how We Rocked Hawaii "Melekalikimaka style"

Here's a little video diary of Valient Thorr's Xmas Hawaiian Adventure.  Including rocking the Volcom House on the North Shore of Oa'hu and Valient Himself and Nitewolf learning to surf the legendary pipeline at one of its more mellower moments.