Monday, November 25, 2013

Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: Chrome And Hot Leather (1971)

" man, you don't get it. You leave when you're excused. Now say it: P-L-E-A-S-E may I be excused?" - T.J.

"Don't worry about a thang boys, its just like pluckin' feathers off a hot hen." - Hank

"Holy Mackaral boy- ya done lost again. The only way we gonna get rich is to own tha casina!" - Jim

Here we have a motorcycle movie from 1971. The only thing different from this biker flick from any other biker flick is that usually we have someone from one of the biker gangs is one of the heroes. Or possibly we have a skirmish betwixt two different biker gangs and we see who winds up on top. This one is young veterans vs. biker gang and it paints the bikers in a negative light. There was a time when the biker was glorified and this shows the turn that begun to show bikers as more trouble than they were worth. Possibly stemming from negative newspaper articles and books such as Hell's Angels by Hunter S. Thompson, the wild biker was now the enemy, not some bohemian ideal lifestyle. Starring MARVIN GAYE (!), today I bring you CHROME AND HOT LEATHER!!!

Mitch a his squadron of Green Berets have just been released to head home from Vietnam. Mitch's girlfriend and her friend and driving down some long stretch of what looks to be Sedona or somewhere in the desert in California. They run afoul of a biker gang called the Wizards, and one of the bikers decides right then and there to make an example of them. He ends up running the girl's car off the road after smashing in their windshield with a chain whip killing both of them instantly. After being yelled at by the group's leader TJ, they hightail it outta there before anyone sees them and go into hiding.

So Mitch gets home and realizes his old lady has been murdered. He of course vows revenge. First things first. He goes looking around for any motorcycle gangs that live in the area since the person who found her saw some iron horses riding off from the scene while the car was still down in the ravine smoking. One part I don't understand is how exactly are all of those Green Berets from the same town? They were all just drinking together in a bar in Bangkok asking where they are all going, and Mitch is the only one who mentions going "home" to his girl. Seems unlikely that they were all from like Riverside, CA. Anyway, they hear about this gang called the Devils and then almost get into a fight in a bar with some other bikers asking about the Devils. So they decide to ditch their army fatigues, and buy matching red Kawasaki's(?) to fool bikers into thinking they're a gang. Only problem? They don't know how to ride.

So they head out to the desert and learn to ride these Kawasaki's in the sand. A brief montage later and they are pretty prolific. Then they're back out looking for the Devils. They split up and arent' having much luck until they come by this old gas station and Mitch meets up with some of the members of the Wizards. He follows them back to a bar they frequent and Mitch actually gets in with the chick of the dude who killed his old lady. By this time there's a power rift growing between T.J. (the leader) and Gabriel (the dude who killed the chicks). Gabriel thinks TJ is getting soft but TJ whoops his ass and shows him how soft he is. He even grants Mitch the alone time he needs with Gabriels chick. And Gabriel splits sulking.

Eventually Mitch meets back up with the other berets at the gas station and he fills them in. Then they go to an old friend in the military and secure all the bombs, guns, rockets, and whatever else bullshit they need to spook and beat the hell out of this biker gang. Then there's a whole big set up and they trap them up in the mountains and scare them and if you really wanna know the end, you'll just have to check it out yourself. Problem is... Should you? Well, I can't say that I fully back this one. There are at lease 100 other ones that are probably better. That's all I'll say. But if you like biker trash, go for it!

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