Thursday, May 22, 2014

Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: Warrior of the Lost World (1983)

"Are the meek inheriting the earth?" - Prosser

"Listen lady I need any computer to tell me I'm in way over my head do you understand...LOOK AT ME! Did you see the firepower out there? Do you know what we're up against here? I don't like the odds here so I'm gettin' out alright? The deal's off. There's nothing more I can do for ya." - The Rider

"NO WAY! We're lucky we got outta there alive. I'm not going back in." - The Rider

Man this is a bad one. Another in the long line of really crummy MAD MAX/ ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK ripoffs. One of the first Italian ones, this is also known as THE MAD RIDER, THE EXECUTIONER OF THE LOST EARTH, and RAIDERS OF THE OMEGA YEAR. Not a whole lot to say about this one. If you like post apocalyptic trash cinema, then chances are you'll love this. Its one of those "funny but not intended to be funny" flicks. Starring Robert Ginty and Donald Pleasence with a cameo by Fred Williamson in WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD!!!

So "The Rider" is driving through this junked car strewn landscape. Their are several Morlock looking dudes on motorcycles and souped up apocalypse demolition derby type cars that start attacking him and trying to kill him by running him off the road and shooting at him. His motorcycle is equipped with some kind of wise cracking super computer. Eventually he wrecks and is found by Fred Williamson who informs him that he's been chosen by "The Elders" to help out "The Outsiders".

The Outsiders are trying to overthrow this state run military based government called "the Omega" ran by this evil dude named Prosser. The Rider is to meet up with this chick and help her rescue her dad from this super jail. Her dad is some kind of genius leader of the resistance movement. So they infiltrate the place, and The Rider is apprehensive the whole time. Finally they get the dad and are escaping by helicopter during a fire fight and the chick is shot in the leg and she barely misses boarding the chopper as the Rider splits.

So Natasha (the chick) is captured, and her dad insists that they go rescue her now. The Rider says no way, his orders were just to rescue the Professor. But eventually he comes around and goes to meet up with a bunch of gangs ("the Marginals) and has to battle them to assemble a team of badasses. They'll only follow and listen to him if he wins their battle. So he fights white karate dudes, rednecks, truckers, amazons, punk rockers and other various factions beating the hell out of them and gaining their respect (?). Then they go after Prosser.

So the Professor and the Rider and the Outsiders use tanks, motorcycles and derby cars to fight the Omega army. The Omega pull out this thing called the MegaWeapon. Finally the Rider destroys it by short circuiting it but not before his super bike is crushed. Then him and the professor split into the compound to fight Prosser and find Natasha. She is brainwashed and programmed to kill them. She shoots the Rider, but can't kill her father and ends up killing Prosser in a jarring slow motion scene as everything starts blowing up. the Outsiders celebrate and the Rider decides to split. However their victory is short lived as Natasha unknowingly killed a robot, and the real Prosser himself splits with the true secret traitor enemy, Fred Williamson. Should you see it? Nah, that's why I gave away the whole thing. If you are going to watch it, do yourself a favor and watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, so that at least you can laugh and laugh instead of laugh and then cry.

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