Sunday, September 6, 2009

bad/awesome flixxx review: Deathsport

welcome to another installment of ... well, i guess i never call it the same thing twice... but whatever.  This is me telling you about a terrible/awesome movie i just watched.  Ok, so i have a ton on the backburner and some that i haven't been actually able to sit thru, b/c i either pass out, or just shut it off b/c its so heinous.  But i finally made it thru one tonight.  Its a Roger Corman flick entitled, "Deathsport".  Stars David Carradine as a "Guide" who from what i could gather, shows the "statesmen" how to get from one city- Helix- to the next- Triton.  These "guides" ride on horseback, and have clear swords that they battle these bad dudes with on motorcycles called "deathmachines".  The main Scanner from Scanners is like the "Darth Vader" bad dude, and his boss gets brain madness and forces chicks to dance around naked in a dark room w/ crystal poles that swing from the ceiling to some funky space techno music, until he flips a switch and then they start freaking out and the poles start shaking around and... well, i guess scaring the naked chicks, b/c they all start cowering on the floor.  There's a hot redhead who gets naked like 3 times, and seeing that was pretty much all that kept me from turning this off.  I mean, don't get me wrong, i dig bad movies, but this is pretty rough.  It takes them forever to get to the Deathsport part, and then Carradine and the redhead and this dr guy just split into the desert for like a 45 minute chase.  Then theres a break where they have to rescue this little girl from some "mutants".  Who are just a bunch of dudes in a cave w/ nets around their shoulders, some sunglasses on, and doo-rags on their heads.  I won't spoil the ending for you but it doesn't matter anyway, because the best part was the few times you saw the red boosh half an hour ago.  They did have these rad flashlight guns that made people disappear though.  We could really use some technology like that here in 2009.  Check the trailer, but don't go out of your way to find this one, unless you really dig torture.  tons of explosions, swords, horses, motorcycles, decent nudity, but only 2 stars... out of like 7.

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