bad/awesome flixxx review: Blue Velvet (1986) by David Lynch

-[peering into bag that Jeffrey brought]
Detective Williams: "That's a human ear all right."
***
-Frank Booth: "Don't be a good neighbor to her. I'll send you a love letter, straight from my heart, fucker! You know what a love letter is? It's a bullet from a fucking gun, fucker! You receive a love letter from me, you're fucked forever! You understand, fuck? I'll send you straight to hell, fucker!"
***
-Sandy Williams: "...it means that there is trouble until the robins come."
***
-Jeffrey Beaumont: "Do you see that house? I used to know a kid who lived there, he had the biggest tongue in the world."





First things first. Rest in peace Dennis Hopper. I've always dug Dennis Hopper from watching Easy Rider and Apocalypse Now with my pop when I was little. This little gem slipped by my peepers growing up, even though I'd heard of since I was young. But the description was always something like "very weird" or "too hard to understand", when the real description should have been, "unbelievably beautiful" or "something very noir, and very creative in its storytelling". Then I would've watched this years ago. There are so many awesome lines in it, I had to use them as the intro to the trailer- & I may start doing that all the time. What a cast. The funny thing is, thinking of all the films i DID see with Hopper around this time, like RIVERS EDGE or TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, I never knew I was missing one of the best roles of his career. Frank Booth. What a dastardly character. What a hilarious and awful/perfect villian. I just think this a must see, and I missed it all these years, maybe you have as well, go give this fucker a chance.
I absolutely wouldn't dare ruin this one for you, but here's a brief synopsis: Kyle Maclachlan (DUNE, TWIN PEAKS) is a dude who comes back to his hometown cuz his pops had a stroke. He finds an ear in a field and takes it to this cop who has a hot daughter in high school. He starts hanging with this chick and she tempts his curiosity with info about the case. There's a chick singer (Issabella Rossalini) who's wrapped up in it somehow. They go see her sing, and then the dude says fuck it, lets pretend we are exterminators, get a key, break in her house, and then see what happens. What happens is this dude gets caught up in some heavy shit, with the crazy dancer wanting him to pork her, and a dangerous wildman on his ass bigtime. Sounds pretty simple, but put together, I think old David Lynch really made his masterpiece here.
To follow, another trailer that'll tempt your tastebuds to go buy or rent or whatever to get this in yer hands.
3 thumbs up.