Tuesday, July 6, 2010

bad/awesome flixxx review: Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

ok, so I thinking about bad flicks, and I asked myself, what were my favorites growing up? What were the ones that made my hair stand on end they were so bad slash so totally incredible? Which ones deserve the treatment so to speak? And so I came up with a list of flicks that were just begging to be rewatched, and reviewed. First up on the list was a little known and (at one time) hard to find flick starring Rowdy Roddy Piper! Made the exact same year as he starred in John Carpenter's THEY LIVE... 1988 was a "hell" of a year for Piper. Here he is alongside Sandahl Bergman in HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN.

The thing about this one that sets it apart from the rest of the bad movies I usually review here, is that there is almost NO redeeming quality to it. Its pretty bad... No great one-liners like he had in THEY LIVE, the acting is pretty heinous... I guess you could say the costumes were ok. BUT... the reason this one stuck up there in the old gordon, after rewatching it- is that its a total boner story. I must have seen this on skinemax when i was like 14 or something, because Sandahl Bergman is in her bra and panties most of the flick, her "gunner" Corporal Cintranella gets naked, and they have to rescue another harem of chicks from the frogs.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Check out this awesome plot: Its after WWIII. The world is devastated, and as a result of uranium mining there are mutant frogs who live out in the outlands on reservations. Sam Hell is being investigated for porking this future cops daughter when all of a sudden this division of the army made up of chicks rescue him and agree to drop all charges against him if he'll help them impregnate a few of the only fertile women left on the earth (since he is {even rarer} one of the only virile men left on earth). He agrees, then they put like a chastity bomb on his weiner so he can't get away, and then inform him he has to bust the fertile chicks out of frogtown. To which he retorts: "Hey lady, I agreed to fuck for my freedom, but Frogtown was no part of this deal, you're crazy!"

And there ya go. Totally classic, cheeseball post-apocalyptic low budge rightousness. Plenty of machine guns, a pink vehicle that kinda looks like a fucking pt cruiser w/ a gatlin gun on top, nasty frogmen, a bit of boob action, and lots of pent up end of the world desire. Good shit. Find it. Apparently there are 3 sequels! They all look like utter dogshit. Cheers!

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