Saturday, July 23, 2011

bad/awesome flixxx review: Leonard Part 6 (1987)

"Cancel the grits!"- Duchamp

"Possum's in Piedmont awaiting orders."- Man Ray

"Mango me." - Medusa Johnson

Everyone claims this is one of the worst movies ever made. Believe me, I've seen way worse. You know what I think the real problem is with this movie? Maybe the editing, and more specifically the music selection. The songs edited into these sequences are fucking tragic, and I think that might be the biggest problem. I'm talking really super shitty sax heavy R&B from the 80s. Sounds like you're getting your teeth cleaned. Cosby isn't that funny really in the first place outside of some of his classic 'parenthood' standup, but here he could've been better had he been the kind of comedian that Richard Pryor was. No, you don't have to swear to be funny, but Cosby was way past his prime here, and could've benefited from some better writing than some of the gags in this one. One bright spot for me was the appearance of Joe Don Baker, ol Mitchell himself as the CIA captain. Definitely some good sight gags here, but Cosby himself apparently denounced the flick before it came out, so he shot it in the foot before the race began. Oh well, if you like spies, and comedy about rich spies, follow along with LEONARD PART 6!!!!

The movie starts off with three quick weird scenes of "Leonard". Him driving a car with a tank turret on the top, jumping a huge SF style hill, him doing ballet, and him jumping an ostrich off of a building. Then you have a dude explaining why you haven't heard of the first five installments of the Leonard series, and how he'll explain how Leonard did all those weird things in the course of a weekend. Leonard was supposedly such a badass and the first 5 installments were such a threat to national security that they were confiscated by the CIA, whom he used to work for. I think it was probably a bad idea to show these three parts of the movie in the beginning, because it reveals a lot of the action that comes later, BUT what do I know, it also kind of hooks you in, makes you want to see why this dude is on a fucking ostrich. His butler Frayn is doing the narration and he explains that Leonard Parker has retired from the spy game to open a restaurant, one of his many successful endeavors. We learn the real reason that he left the espionage game later when it is told that his wife left him and he became disheartened.

A fish is sent to kill an agent, and then you see Joe Don Baker addressing a bunch of other 'agents' who say squirrels, fish, possums, rabbits, etc, are killing agents all over the US. JDB says, I'll send Munroe to get Leonard to help. Munroe goes to collect Leonard at his restaurant but bungles the capture and Leonard has to bring Munroe's dead body back. JDB greets him as if he'll just be ready for his next assignment, but Leonard turns him down flat. JDB says she'll never come back to you Leonard, probably because you aren't with the service anymore. Leonard goes home to meet his daughter.

Another agent is killed by frogs jumping his car into a river. He drowns. Leonard's daughter brings home a dude who is older than Leonard, and says she's gonna marry him. Leonard has a sit down with him and shows us a Coca-cola. He has some choice words with them, then devises a plan to call his wife to discuss the whole thing. She says meet her at her place tomorrow 9pm. Leonard is fucking psyched. Flick cuts straight to a montage of Leonard getting ready all the next day, working out to a Jane Fonda tape where she is speaking directly to him, having old shaolin monks make his suit, spending all day having Frayn pick out ties from a huge closet and then finally picking the LAST one. Then he goes over, she pours the food all over him (prompting the grits line, the best line in the movie) cause she's still pissed that he was fucking around with some 19 year old girl on him, like 8 years ago. He leaves, and tells Frayn to suit him up for duty. Frayn busts out a shitload of awesome weapons, including underarm rockets, and a razor. He puts on a helmet that says "Ipso Facto", and goes to fight the leader of the vegetarian badguy club, Medusa Johnson.

He first goes to meet with this psychic gypsy whom he can't understand named Nurse, and she gives him ballet shoes. He ends up fighting some dudes dressed up like birdmen with them and stealing this ball that supposedly mind controls the animals. Then he goes to watch his daughter's play and she gets naked. Then the ex wife and daughter are kidnapped by Medusa. Leonard has to get the ball back from JDB who wants to use its power as well. Leonard knows he's power hungry so he uses the ball and gets rabbits to attack the CIA, then he goes to get his family. It all comes down to a showdown, and finally Leonard wins his ex wife back... And then more shitty R&B kenny g sax bullshit. Seriously, that was the real BAD part of the flick. It could have been better, but I don't agree that its the shittiest or even one of the shittiest. Let's say this is def in the category of SO bad it's good. Seek out only if you have NOTHING else to do at all.

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