Thursday, August 16, 2012

Bad/awesome flixxx review: Humanoids From The Deep (1980)

"Oh get off your antique manners Jim, I'm a professional scientist. Let's go." - Dr. Drake

"You mean to tell me you've been out here all day and you didn't even fill up the gas in the goddamned winch motor?" - Zeke

"I'm tellin' for the last time, get yer drunk ass outta here before I kick it out!" - Hank Slattery

Oh ho ho! Here's one they love to hate! This is premium trash right here! BUT, its not one of those unintentionally funny horror flicks. This one is more akin to the '50s black and white low budget sci fi that you'd find on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000. Although Roger Corman produced this one in 1980. Pretty much the end of an era if you ask me. Every once in a while you'll come across a gem that has the same kind of camera work, and look and feel as this, but technology changed shortly thereafter and the feel of this kind of film (which is very important to me) was never the same. Pretty much a cast of folks that I'm not familiar with EXCEPT ol Vic Morrow playing his usual crabby asshole type character. This time a Native American hating fisherman (much akin to his bigot role in THE TWILIGHT ZONE {where he also actually lost his life on set when a helicopter crashed on him and 2 small children, decapitating him}). Sometimes known simply as MONSTER, I give you Roger Corman's HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP!!!

Early one morning out at the docks in the town of Noyo, tensions flare as the fisherman go off about their business. Some of the fishermen led by one guy in particular (Hank Slattery) are excited that a cannery is coming and setting up downstream near their town. A young native american dude is pissed because its going to be hard for him to make a living here anymore, much less even feed himself. Stuck in the middle of the decisions is Jim Hill who just wants things to be peaceful. Later in the afternoon, a fisherman catches some kind of monster in his net and accidentally blows his boat sky high trying to reel it in after his son falls in the water. This rattles the town which is already heated up about the cannery debate. Trying to ease tensions is the mayor who is determined to have a super elderly quartet play the same song throughout the movie beginning at the annual town dance that night. Hank dislikes Johnny Eagle bigtime, and his racist tendencies play out throughout the whole movie as he seeks to discredit and harm Johnny at every corner.

Jim's dog gets eaten by one of the monsters, and so does every dog in town EXCEPT Johnny Eagle's. Naturally Hank blames him and kills Johnny's dog. Johnny interrupts the big dance and brings his bloody dead dog and lays it in the middle of the dancefloor. Then there's a knockdown dragout. Jim & his brother end up on Johnny's team. Two horny teenagers go out to swim the next day and the boy gets his face ripped off and the monster chases the girl up the beach and starts humping the shit out of her. Its SUPER creepy, and even though the poster said they were "after our women" or whatever, it never registered to me till even like the next girl that they were totally out to fuck human chicks, and probably impregnate them. Also at the dance the night before we're introduced to a female scientist who comes along with reps from the cannery to "pitch" the idea to the townspeople and tell them they have new scientific ways to make the salmon bigger and more plentiful than ever before.

This scientist chick goes along with Jim to study what's happening out in the water. Hank plots to blow up Johnny Eagle's shack. Jim's brother and chick go with Johnny to discuss his plans to sue the cannery and take back some of his people's land. Hank throws a molotov cocktail at Johnny's house but before they have a chance to retaliate, humanoids show up and start eating them and clawing them and generally causing havok. Johnny saves Jim's brother and takes him to town by boat. This one kid and his ventriliquist dummy gets this chick to fuck him in a tent but the monsters maul him and bang his girl. That happens a bunch more. Busty girl shows up, gets chased, gets fucked. So the scientist chick finally fesses up to whats happening. Apparently she had a bunch of growth hormone and it leaked out during a storm or some shit and then fishes ate bigger fishes who morphed in to these fishmen and they got a taste for human pussy.... basically.

Ok, so too late, once they figure out that it is really those fishmen that have morphed (which really, come on lady, you knew that shit from the start...) they have to drive their boat all the way across town to the annual town carnival which is going on, but like all of a sudden, there's about 50 fishmen, and they come up all over the docks and there's about a 30 minute showdown where they're killing all the dudes and raping all the women, and people are shooting shotguns and a dj is reporting all of it live till he gets mauled. And then 3 fishdudes break in on Jim's wife back home and she annihilates this one with a knife in one of the most brutal fake murders I've ever seen. And then Jim sets the whole bay on fire and Johnny Eagle actually saves Hank from a monster. But they don't say anything else about them AT ALL!?! I guess all is supposed to be fine and dandy with them, EVEN THOUGH HANK TRIED TO MURDER HIM! Forgive and forget I guess. EPILOGUE: Hospital room, one of the chicks survived the raping. She's about to give birth- BUT OH NO- A BLOODY LITTLE FISH MAN BURSTS THROUGH HER STOMACH AND SCREAMS!!! It ends with her screaming and holding her ripped open belly! Should you check it? Fudge yeah. Its FREE on youtube!!!

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