Wednesday, January 5, 2011
bad/awesome flixxx review: Cherry 2000 (1987)
"Well we can't all be glamour pusses 24 hours a day!"- E
"Ginger-- have the girls make us some sandwiches."- Lester
"Firin' one those up'll be like slammin' an octopus."- Lester
"Well, you can just go shit in yer hat."- Snappy Tom
Yelo so rillius so rilem! I have had no prior knowledge to this film! I owe it all to Netflix for showing me this beautiful masterpiece! If you dig em like I do, you love hot robot women, redheaded warrioresses, post apocalyptic wasteland tales, badass muscle cars, hilarious dialogue and ridiculous shoot em ups! This one has it all! Never released theatrically in the US, but straight to video a year after it was made, with cameos by Lawrence Fishburne, Harry Carey Jr. & Brion James (Bladerunner, 48 Hours), A 30 year old SMOKING HOT Melanie Griffith, and ol "Jack Deth" Tim Thomerson himself, I'm proud to have watched CHERRY 2000!!!
ok. So the deal here is this dude Sam Treadwell is like a yuppie dude with an amazing car and an amazing house from Anaheim. He comes home one day to dinner, and his hot wife Cherry wants to bang. So they start in the kitchen with the water from the sink spilling on the floor. A couple minutes into the smoochin, and some flashes spark and bang- turns out Cherry is a robot, and she's shorted out.
Sam takes her to get fixed but its a no go. He salvages her memory chip and heads to the edge of the cities to find a tracker to go way out into zone 7 to find him a replacement body for his "Cherry 2000". That's the model. Anyway, after bumbling around and almost getting his ass kicked, he hires smoking hot Edith "E" Johnson. She's got this badass 1965 Mustang lifted so it'll go offroad, and they run it ragged.
The whole time, they are persued by ol Jack Deth or Lester as he's called in the film. He's like the boss of the outlands, and he doesn't mind shooting chicks in the face if he has too. There's this ridiculous scene where they try to capture E and Sam, by lifting the Mustang with a huge magnet by crane, and then lift them into the air and start shooting rocket launchers at them. Its pretty awesome. E climbs out and gives back fire with her own rockets and machine guns. Then rigs it so they can't drop them. But they do lower them into the Hoover Dam. They fall down a huge water slide in the dam, and there is where we meet E's uncle 3 Finger Jake. He has a lot of toaster ovens in his cave.
Ok, so they keep trying to make it to the "Robot Graveyard", and run into Snappy Sam and Renda. Renda is a bitch, and she gets hers later. E fixes an unfixable plane, and fly to get another Cherry. They finally get her, but when trying to escape, the plane is too heavy with 3 of them. E jumps out, but Sam is like, man, "fuck this robot who only says a bunch of bullshit, I have Melanie Griffith in punkrock/MadMax mode, and she's still hot, what am I doing?" So he tells Cherry to get him a Pepsi (SERIOUSLY!!) and goes back for Edith.
This movie fucking rules. The characters are great, and I think everyone involved got screwed since it only went to theaters in Europe. This is a small cult classic, but couldve been much bigger. The dialogue alone impressed me. Its actually written pretty well. I expected a huge turd. Like I said, this one is still on Netflix Instant. Do yourself a favor and check it out before they take it off. Enjoy! and let me know in the comments if you are digging these reviews. Thanx