Wednesday, January 12, 2011
bad/awesome flixxx review: No Escape (1994)
"Now, anyone who would like to disagree with me, would you please raise your right hand... If you've got one."- Marek
"I just got a shipment of disposable plastic razors in, 20 in a pack... they're pink but..... who gives a shit?"- Stephano
Alahoyus! Nothing at all stinkerish about this flick! A minor star studded futuristic sci fi island prison romp! Thats the best fucking one-sentence description yet. I remember watching this, hell, I don't know if it was a theater flick or like an HBO movie. I don't think they made it, but they definitely had a featurette that came on and got people psyched about it in the old days. And I remember then thinking it might not be that good. I was wrong. This flick is top notch. Ray Liotta, Ernie Hudson, Matt Dylan's brother and ol "Ed Harley" from Pumpkinhead star in NO ESCAPE!!!
This one starts out blazing and never really slows down. What can I say? It has furious action, its a sci fi, and its a deserted island story. Kind of like Rambo meets Robinson Crusoe meets Escape from Alcatraz. Reminds me of a few different stories you read growing up actually. It is based on a book called The Penal Colony by Richard Herley. While the credits are coming on, there are 3 soldiers standing next to them. They kind of look like statues. When the credits come to a close, you see them salute the soldiers walking by, just then, someone shoots the middle one in the head.
Fast forward to a ship taking prisoners to a futuristic prison. Apparently John Robbins (Liotta) has already escaped from 2 other prisons and is now being shipped to this last chance deal. Theres something about the prison system being big money for corporations. Doesn't seem necessary to the story really. Anyway, he quickly shows his lethal prowess here too, forcing the shitty warden to send him to the place they dump those no one wants to deal with anymore, an island no one knows about called Absolom. They are using tactics they aren't supposed to on the prisoners, but no one is supposed to find out about it.
Once on the island, Robbins has a run in with the "Outsiders" a group of about 600 savages who get weekly drops of supplies from the warden, but are barbaric in nature. They live on the part of the island that was an old retreat. He meets their leader Marek and Marek makes him fight another Outsider. Robbins kills him with one swoop, and then is asked to join them. Instead he embarrasses Marek in front of his own men, and splits. Soon he gets trapped on a cliff and falls like what seems forever (like from so high, that NO ONE could have survived, but he does) and is picked up by another group- The Insiders.
The Insiders are a more peaceful group who grow crops, and make liquor, and are trying to find a way of the island by secretly building a boat and a sub. They are led by Ed Harley from Pumpkinhead only he's called The Father. Also, the head of security is Ernie Hudson. But Ernie Hudson must not be that good at his job, b/c there's only a 100 of them, and the Outsiders raid them and burn their shit once a month. Bummer. Anyway, Robbins tells them he's gonna leave, and they're like, well, you can't. And he's like watch me. And then he sees that he is almost fucked, and that its almost impossible to split. Except for after a raid he sees a dropship, and gets an idea, and then later finds out about the boat. All they need is a distributor, and he knows where to get one.
So he gears up to go get the distributor and fight all the Outsiders cause no one else has ever even lived to get that far, and blah blah blah, and then Matt Dylan's brother comes out even though he was told not to, and gets killed, and then Robbins is caught, but a spy lets him out. Then the father gets lynphoma but he's like, if you escape, take this book to the people and tell the story of how they are mean to us. Then we get the story of why Robbins shot his captain and the big fight, and a bunch of doublecross type shit happens, but, let's not ruin the whole thing eh? So, yeah, I'd say pick this one up if you find a copy. Definitely worth is for sci fi, prison, action fans. Steers!