Wednesday, September 7, 2011
bad/awesome flixxx review: Mechanical Violator Hakaider (1995)
"Do you know why the flower is beautiful? Because they do not question their masters." - Gerjev
"Justice, this is what I do with it. I burn it." - Hakaider
"IF THIS PEACE IS FICTICIOUS, I SHALL DESTROY IT!" - Hakaider
A very strange Tokyo Shock flick indeed. Based on the old 70s Japanese Kikader series which is like a precursor to Power Rangers or Voltron, Hakaider was always the bad guy. Updated to reflect the mysterious nature of Hakaider's existence, this film begs us to ask, is Hakaider the bad guy or the misunderstood seeker of true justice? Originally titled Jinzô ningen Hakaidâ, and subsequently rereleased as Roboman Hakaider, I watched the 77 minute director's cut entitled MECHANICAL VIOLATOR HAKAIDER!!!
In the beginning of the movie, we have a band of robbers breaking into some old silo in hopes of cashing in on some treasure left there by people decades ago and sealed before some big war changed the outside world. They break into some sort of cell and come upon a man in chains. They are surprised when the man awakens, busts out of his chains, and in a mad rage, beats the shit out of them, transforms into some kind of robot man and jumps on a motorcycle and splits. On his motorcycle, this android dude contemplates, "who am i, where am i, where am i going?" So he's got amnesia.
So then, we see this utopian town (CALLED JESUS TOWN!!! SERIOUSLY!) where everything looks peaceful and everything is white, but things are not what they seem. Jesus Town is run by this very emo/ metrosexual dude named Gurjev who has his own personal stormtrooper army. Plus he has his own robot leader named Michael. Michael seems tough as shit, and he has a weird wing on his back and a hand that lights up before he stabs dudes with it. There's also a band of rebels who are robbing this place for some reason. One of the rebels is this girl named Kaoru. She is narcoleptic and dreams that she is a fairy and that a black knight keeps saving her from Death or some skeleton angel when she's tied to a tree. Meanwhile the robot android guy is flying toward Jesus Town on his chopper and starts shooting things with this badass sawed-off shotgun. Gurjev sees the android and goes, "oh no Hakaider!" So he knows who he is. Gurjev sends out some stormtroopers on motorcycles to take care of Hakaider, but Hakaider blows them away and asks them why they did it. One of them says he had to. Hakaider says, "what about free will?"
So Hakaider is pissed that robot dudes don't have free will, and he drives straight into Jesus Town blowing away anything in his path. Then he encounters the rebel thieves. Kaoru sees him and believes him to be the Black Knight coming to save her. Hakaider fights tons more stormtroopers finally killing most of them, but becoming hurt in the process. The rebels take him to their hideout and he heals up. Kaoru tells him the Gurjev is transforming disobedient citizens into mindless zombie stormtroopers. Hakaider doesn't like that at all. She pretty much has him convinced even if her rebel friends are just making fun of her. Right then, a bunch of stormtroopers bust in and annihilate the rebels except for Kaoru. They also think they kill Hakaider. Michael turns out to be a sadistic sonofabitch as well, smashing one of his own men's face in upon failure. Kaoru helps Hakaider once again and he hides her out in some dream landscape with huge religious statues with chunks taken out of their faces a la PLANET OF THE APES or LOGAN'S RUN. Pretty awesome scenery. Kaoru dreams again while Hakaider goes to work killing the false prophet Gurjev.
Hakaider makes it to the inner sanctum of Gurjev and Gurjev tells him he made him long ago, but he was flawed and that Michael is the perfected robot killer. Then Michael and Hakaider fight for like 20 minutes and destroy this huge room. The really cool thing here is that the room is white, and when they bust through it, the room becomes red like it's alive or bleeding. Michael is strong as hell, but ultimately no match for Hakaider who rips his fucking head off pulling a very red spinal column along with it. In one last ditch effort to beat Hakaider, Gurjev sics some giant claymation monster with a spinning mitre saw on his neck on Hakaider who gets thrown around a lot, but still fucks this beast up as well. If you dig Japanese fantasy flicks about kung fu or robots, I think you'll dig this one. It's pure punch/kick with little build up or real storytelling, but for a background stoner pizza movie, its perfection.