I'm pretty sure that 99% of you will have never seen or even heard of this one. Partially because its not even really a movie. It was a TV movie/pilot, that was supposed to begin a series for Tom Selleck and Jerry Reed. However it was pretty bad, and Selleck moved on and was picked up for a detective series of his own. A little show called Magnum P.I. Anyway, they did eventually make 8 episodes with Selleck being replaced by some other dude. And it kinda looks like they based the show Simon & Simon on this a few years later. Oh well, also, it was called a few different things, originally: Concrete Cowboys, but for the copy I have it was called RAMBLIN' MAN. (Which is stupid, cause there were two of them... Shouldve been Ramblin Men).
I thought right away, this is gonna be awesome, because it had TOM SELLECK, JERRY REED, MORGAN FAIRCHILD, Roy Acuff, Barbara Mandrell, & Ray Stevens. I thought it was gonna be like Smokey & the Bandit or Cannonball Run or some shit. I thought it might even be as good as Roadie with the star power and the musicians and whatnot. Man, I was mistaken. The only one who plays is Ray Stevens, and he's not really that good anyway. The story is about Selleck and Reed as 2 cowboys who are on their way to Hollywood, they get in trouble, hop a train and end up in Nashville. They start staying at some dudes pad, and are mistaken for detectives by some chick who comes by. Then they're asked by her to help find her sister. Then they eventually do. Reed is always making mistakes Dukes of Hazzard style, and Selleck is the encyclopedia reading, good listener who is slow to act, but usually makes the right choices. I could tell right away it was some kind of TV pilot instead of a movie, because there was no cursing and the quality was bad... i mean damn bad. They couldn't even afford to use real cop cars, so they dressed up a bronco and a station wagon to look like them. This was a stinker, and naturally there was no real trailer cause it wasn't a movie. But I hope you enjoy the title sequence with an original number by ol Jerry Reed himself. Cheers.
Wow. I actually saw this way back when. I didn't pay attention to mainstream reviews (still don't really.) But I had no idea how much everyone said this movie sucked. They were right of course. But, not really any more than a lot of the movies that came out around the same time. It tried for something unique. It had a few good leading television comedy men, but I think maybe it lacked good direction. And possibly storyline. Ok, it sucked, but if you could get past the FUCKING TERRIBLE version of "Do you believe in magic?" that the movie opens with, you may be able to sit through it. There's also another god awful song in one of the car chases: Aretha Franklin's "freeway of love". I hate both of those songs so much, I'm pretty sure that's the reason the flick did so bad. Solely on the reason that no one could make it through the beginning credits. Bronson Pinchot, and John Larroquette in: SECOND SIGHT.
I always liked John Larroquette. I was a fan of Night Court, and he basically plays the same character here, except instead of a sleazy womanizing lawyer, he's a sleazy womanizing detective. I never watched Perfect Strangers, so my only interaction with Bronson Pinchot was in the Beverly Hills Cop series. But he even does a pretty good job here. The basic plot is Larroquette plays Wills, a detective who's partnered up with a young man named Bobby Mcgee who got struck by lightning and became a psychic and his new age handler Preston (Stewart Pankin). Bobby helps solve crimes by contacting a dead guy named Murray. When he gets out of control they feed him Goobers to calm his psychic seizures.
So, the boys barely being able to sustain a living because they usually "goof" up (and Bobby eats a lot), but they go ahead a take a low profile hit and run case. Bobby falls for the girl and Wills falls for her "handler" who is a nun. They don't even explain why the girl is with the nun really. Anyway, they get the car back, but the next day the Cardinal is kidnapped. Wills suspects the Bishop, and questions him, but they never even go back to decide whether he hired the goons in the first place. Bad script holes. Anyway,
Bobby figures out that its the same goons who kidnapped the Cardinal and he takes control of a plane and drives it through a tunnel in Boston. Oh yeah, the ghost Murray was killed by the nun, going out to get her ice cream. And he gets pissed at Wills for being after her. Hilarity ensues. Also, there's a happy ending. Fuck it, just skip this one. Trust me. (but for 50 cent on vhs, deal.)
"The muscians make it rock but the roadies make it roll!" - Lola
"Everything works if you let it"- Travis W. Redfish
"Od-a mightydamn- it's a catfight!"- Ramblin Jack Elliot
I happened across this flick out on tour last month at the very reasonable price of ONE DOLLAR! Brand new too. I had never heard of this one but the cover had everything I needed to decide I had to watch it: appearances by Hank Williams Jr., Blondie, Roy Orbison, Alice Cooper, and more, starring Meatloaf and Art Carney, AND the fat dude with the mustache from the Ernest movies that did his eyes back and forth?!? Done Deal. Bring it on.
I didn't know if this was going to be pure shit or totally awesome when I got it, but I'm so psyched on this that I've already watched it twice. Immediately I wonder why no one ever talks about this flick. There are a lot of rocknroll and country stars in it, and it seems like it holds the same kind of place that the Blues Brothers would in the annals of rock movie history. Anyway... It starts outside of Austin, Texas with one BB Muldoon driving a Shiner Beer truck onto a ranch to pick up his buddy Travis W. Redfish. Art Carney stars as Corpus Redfish, Travis's father, and we are introduced his sister Alice Poo there as well.
Quickly the flick gets underway as Travis begins his day much like every other day, driving around and delivering Shiner Beer throughout South Texas. But just as they begin "chair dancin" they come upon an RV that seems to be broken down. They are about to pass by, when Travis lays eyes on the "only woman he's ever respected as a person ever". And so the adventure begins.
Manager Ace and crew have broken down on the side of the road with Hank Williams Jr's gear in tow. Travis quickly fixes the situation, and Lola Boulabaisse is a "groupie" along for the ride in hopes of making her way to NYC to meet Alice Cooper and make it with him (for her first time). Lola convinces Travis to come along for the ride and drive them to Austin. Upon arriving in Austin they meet up with Mohammad Johnson (Don Cornelius, long time host of Soul Train) the promoter of the Traveling Rocknroll Circus. Fans are jumping on the RV demanding that they hurry up so Hank Jr can play. Very quickly again Lola uses her feminine wiles to convince Travis to hang out and help roadie the gear in so the show can go on. He does, and they do. Then Travis gets in a fight and goes into "brainlock". They get him to drive them to the airport with a full on Blues Brothers style cop chase scene and drive straight into a plane headed for LA.
After that Travis and Lola have many adventures around the country where Travis seems to always come up with the solution to any problem that comes to him. There are a ton of cameo appearances by bands and characters. There's a lot of live perfomances too including Blondie covering Johnny Cash, Hank Williams Jr performing with Roy Orbison, Alice Cooper, Asleep at the Wheel. Theres a whole band of midgets called Snow White!! Anyway, I recommend this one, seems like you can find it cheap and its totally worth it for the jams and laughs alone. The soundtrack is tight too with songs written just for the movie by Cheap Trick and the Joe Ely band. Get it. Watch it. Love it.
"hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."- Buckaroo
"Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life"- Whorphin
"Will somebody turn off that gosh darn klaxon?"- Whorphin
absolutely one of the weirdest/ most convoluted movies I ever saw. I don't think I ever finished this movie when I was younger. I have memories of certain scenes, but maybe it was a little too hard for me to comprehend at an early age. When recently watching this again, I finally took in all the small pieces and figured out what this was about. Not that it takes a genius to figure this one out, but there are several things going on at the same time and I'm not sure that they do the best job of explaining everything in the movie. But watching it now nearly 20 years later, I get the gist of it, let's see if I can recap it to you sufficiently. So many great players in this wild, made up comic book/sci fi roller coaster including Christopher Lloyd, Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum, & even Vincent Schiavelli star in: THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION!!
"Robocop" himself Peter Weller stars as Buckaroo Banzai in this campy "serial" style send-up. Buckaroo is a genius, neurosurgeon, physicist, rocknroll and comic book star who leads his band the Hong Kong Cavaliers (who also happen to be geniuses and scientists and assassins) on adventures around the globe. This particular adventure pits him against John Lithgow (the mad scientist Lizardo possessed by alien Whorphin) and some of his henchmen who happen to be Red Lectroids from the planet 10 (in the 8th dimension). When the film starts out, Buckaroo is busy as hell, in an operating room, then he's off, straight to the desert to test run his "rocket car" that will only run with his newly developed "interstellar overthruster". He takes off in it passing Mach 1, and then breaks some speed barrier and goes "inside" of a mountain. Then he bursts out only to discover that some creature came out with him, leading him to believe that other creatures exist in other dimensions & they cannot be discovered by normal means. then he splits out to play a rock concert.
At the concert, he stops the show b/c he sees this chick who looks like his dead wife, and it turns out to be her long lost twin sister. He stops her from killing herself, and she comes along for the rest of the flick, whining & wondering the whole way. Then you get some back story on Lizardo. Apparently back in the 30s, he tried to create an overthruster but it didnt fully work, and whilst stuck halfway in another dimension was taken over by Whorphin. Buckaroo gets a phone call at his press conference and these Black Lectoids shock him through the telephone and enable him to see the aliens. Whorphins henchmen attack everyone at the press conference kidnapping professor Ito and grabbing the overthruster. They drive off in a truck that says Yoyodyne Propulsion. From that, The Hong Kong Cavaliers including Perfect Tommy, Jeff Goldblum as a cowboy scientist named New Jersey, and other dudes named Reno Nevada, etc, hack into Yoyodynes computer and figure out that everyone working there was born on the same day, and in the same place, connecting them to the Orson Welles "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast "farce". They figure out that aliens did land, and the "farce" was a coverup. Then they receive a package from a Rastafarian dude who happens to be a Black Lectroid (or goodguy). That's how they piece everything together.
The Black Lectroid has a Star Wars style hologram message that they can watch only by putting the plastic packing stuff with bubbles on their faces and she tells them that if they don't stop the Red Lectroids, she'll blow up something and make Russia think that the US did it, and basically fuel the Cold War into a reality.
Then basically the shit goes down, and there's a watermelon, but nobodys says why, except for they'll tell you later... but they don't. And I'm not gonna tell you the end, you should just watch it. I will say that it says at the end that you should stay tuned for a sequel, but they never made it. They should have. At first I didn't think I was gonna like this, but it turned out to be pretty great. Check it out.
"you can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!"- Dad
"christ! your sister Hollie's with that playboy son of the Cooper's."- Dad
"as for you old man, go back to your kingdom of shadows!" - preacher
Alahoyus! It's been a long time. Someone stole my computer a few months back while we were rocking in DC, so I haven't been able to post any reviews for a while. But I bought a shitload of flicks to watch and review while I was out there, and watched quite a few, so i'll be knocking a few out here in the next few days. But I am glad to be back and I've got tons of heinous stinky terrible yet amazing flicks to show you. I'll start off with this little gem that has been suggested to me for a while now. It's been called the "Best Worst" Movie, and there's even a documentary about it called that now- created by the boy who was the star (?) of the flick. I'm not sure it is THE worst movie ever, but its pretty bad, yet there's something endearing about it, which makes it perfect to analyze and review here at BAFR. Ladies and broskeetos, today I bring you a heinous classic: TROLL 2.
This one is heinous, so i'm just gonna give it to ya: The flick starts out with a little dude named Joshua being told a story by his grandfather. The story is about some goblins out in the woods who are chasing this dude named Peter. Peter falls after a badass intro with this killer 80s keyboard/rock song. Peter then gets tricked by this hot chick that was really a Goblin into eating this green porridge. Then he turns into a plant that the Goblin eats. Grandpa Seth is telling Joshua that goblins still exist so don't eat any green shit or the goblins will eat him when he turns into a plant. Then his mom busts in and is like, what are you doing? And he's like, well Grandpa Seth is telling me a story.... whoops, I forgot that Grandpa Seth was dead. Sorry mom. Mom tells him to quit imagining things and there's no such thing as goblins, and to go ahead and get some sleep because they are going to have plenty of fun next week starting tomorrow when they go on their trip out to Nilbog. Then his sister is working out. Then the mom asks the dad, 'who are the goblins?', and the dad laughs, 'hahaha, there are no goblins'. Then, the sister's boyfriend sneaks up to see her, and brings his stupid friends. She tells him if he wants to get laid, he has to bail on his friends and calls him gay. wah-wah. He is supposed to show up at 8. Next scene, he doesn't show, and they split anyway. Josh has a bad dream that his folks are goblins, but then wakes up and sees his dead grandfather as a bum and the bum is holding a sign saying stop the car. So Josh pretends to be sick. They stop, and then grandpa Seth tells him to make them go back. Then they're like, 'get away from that bum'. Seth turned into some old hitchhiker. Elliot the boyfriend shows up with his friends in an RV, and she flips him off. They get to Nilbog, and its like an old deserted farm town. They meet the creepy ass family who they are trading houses with for a while, and they give them their house keys. The family says nothing and just drives off. They go in the house and the family left them some food, which looks like a bunch of cakes. Then Grandpa Seth appears behind the screen door, and tells Josh to stop them, don't let them eat. Josh is like, how?, and somehow Seth freezes time for 30 seconds so that Josh can figure out a way to stop them. He gets up on the table and pisses on the food. His dad is pissed, and yells at him and tries to get him back by saying he'll starve him out or something.
Then cut to one of Elliots friends out in the woods as he finds some chick getting chased by the goblins. They run into this nearby house after he gets stabbed by one of their wooden spears. Its the home of Creedence Leonore Gielgud, some chick who is like the leader of the Goblins- "of ancient Druid origins". She gets them to eat some veggie stuff, and then the hot chick turns into a puddle and is eaten by the goblins, and the dude turns into a tree, and delivers some of the worst dialogue (and delivery) EVER.
Then the sister dances in front of the mirror, and Grandpa Seth appears in the mirror and scares the shit out of her, but he's looking for Joshua. Josh changes rooms with her, and then talks to his Grandfather. Seth tells him to get them outta there, so Josh throws out all the food except some milk. But the dad takes Josh to the store to get some breakfast food. Another of Elliots friends gets picked up by the local sheriff who feeds him a veggie cake, and takes him into town. He starts sweating green and checking out the creepy ass locals who are staring him down. They give him a message from Arnold the tree boy. Then he drinks some bad milk. Josh tries to contact Seth through a car mirror, and sees that Nilbog is Goblin backwards. Then Lenore shows up at the house where the mom and sister are and gives them a cake. Josh skateboards across the street and catches the townspeople worshipping and talking about how the flesh and meat is gross. "hamburgers! steaks! sausages! hotdogs! the smell of carcasses!" He sees the family that was supposed to take their house. Then, he gets caught and they take him to the basement to eat some ice cream, but then his dad busts in, and is like, "whats up? Why are you still here?" "we had car trouble. We'll be leaving tonight." Then his sister knocks Elliot the fuck out. Then the dad busts holly with her beau, then the one dude tries to save his tree friend, but Creedence stops him. She chainsaws the tree guy, and i guess she kills the other guy who lands on her bed?? They never say. Then the townspeople show up at the house, and try to make a feast for them to make up for the "misunderstanding". Josh gets sent to his room for acting like a little asshole. The townspeople are a little too creepy trying to get the fam to eat. They get suspicious. Then Josh tries to call Seth, but Creedence jumps out of the mirror as a goblin and tries to eat him, but Seth comes outta no where, and chops her fucking hand off sending her back through the mirror. Then she grows it back like it never happened. Then grampa Seth tries to light a molotov cocktail, but the preacher catches him and is like, "go back to hell old man!", and starts chanting, but grandpa seth says something and makes lightning come from the sky and ignite the molotov cocktail and sets the preacher on fire. That part is awesome. Then everyone comes outside, and is like what the fuck? They put out the preacher, and they see his true form. Then the cop and everyone is like, "he was one of us", "now its your turn". Creedence starts chanting and makes herself pretty to seduce the last of Elliots friends with a piece of corn on the cob?!? The townsfolk hold them hostage in the house, and tell them to eat sandwiches or they'd kill them violently. So they decide to have a seance to get him to come to them.... "You're a genius big sister". Goddamn this is horrible. They contact Seth and he tells them they have to defeat the magic stone that gives them their power. Then he disappears somehow, and a goblin is in his place. I don't know?! It jumps on the dads back and its hilarious. Josh wakes up in Creedences house while shes out killing the dude with popcorn. Then a goblin attacks him, until Seth shows up out of nowhere unexplained. He gives him a backpack and tells him not to take it out until he needs the contents. Then he says "there it is- The Stonehenge Magic Stone"!! Seriously. That's what its called. He says all they have to do is touch it. Unbelievable. The goblins have the family surrounded. Then they disappear. Then Creedence is back at her house. She backs Josh into a corner and he takes out the answer to the whole movie- a goddamned double-decker bologna sandwich!! He eats it and somehow it works, and also SOMEHOW his family is magically there, and then Josh is screaming at them to touch the "Stonehenge Magic Stone" and CONCENTRATE- no CONCENTRATE HARDER!! you're not doing it HARD ENUFF!! i wanted to strangle him at this point. Then it worked. The End? No. Then, the dad takes the boyfriend home, and the mom and josh go home. Josh goes up for a nap, and his mom goes for a shower. He gets weirded out, finds a baseball that says "Mummy is so good"- Checks the shower- green slime. Then he goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, Goblins eating his mom. "do you want some Joshua?" terrible. and great at the same time. I think. if you need any other reason to watch this flick, check out these dance moves- you're welcome:
Ok. Let's begin. I wanted to reiterate to the people that I've been bagging on some movies lately, like House, and Darkman. Usually I don't get so rough on them. But, that's the whole point. I just wanted to make sure everyone knows that I love shitty movies, that's the whole deal here. Some are just so excruciatingly painful to get through. But after they are over, I feel a sense of accomplishment... like I've actually done some kind of work to get through them. Believe me though, I can tell the difference in a bad-good movie, and a good-bad movie. A lot of the time, Ill stray down the path of more good than bad. Lately I've been watching a lot of more bad than good. As with our feature today. One of the most popular series that Full Moon Entertainment has, adding their 9th sequel in the series (bringing the grand total to 10 movies about these guys) this year, last week I revisited the very first PUPPET MASTER.
ok, set the scene, it's like the late 30's, and we're in a creepy old hotel on the Cali coast. You may remember William Hickey as the crochety uncle from Christmas Vacation that smokes the cigar and sets the Griswold's tree on fire. "Je-sus Christ Grace, did the room clear out? Hell no! Tha BLE-SSING!!" He "stars" for a brief moment in the beginning of the flick as Andrew Toulon, a man who has somehow figured out some Egyptian secret, (that they never explain) that brings life to inanimate objects. In this case, Toulon was a Puppeteer in the late 30's. Or a PUPPET MASTER! Get it??!? But obviously he's done something bad, and so in the beginning he's got like a Chinese puppet watching out the window as two Nazi spies come to kill him. Also, this puppet named Blade is running around in a funny POV camera angle trying to get back to Toulon, before the Nazis show up. So he makes it back, and Toulon stuffs all the puppets into a case and shuts them up in the paneling of the hotel, and then just before the Nazi's break down the door, he blows his own fucking head off. BOOM!!! Blood all over what looked as briefly as i saw it like a abstract expressionist print. I was thinking Barnett Newman, but really instead of a block color shape, I'm thinking more of a jazz squiggly kind of deal.... But i digress.
Fast forward to the future (1989) and a bunch of psychics are called together by their friend Neil Gallagher to the hotel through dreams and however else all those powers worked. Two are married and they're like sex weirdos (translated as "really cool") and then theres a southern woman they call the white witch, and some random tool. Okay, so they get there, and it turns out none of them like him, but whatever, he's dead anyway, and then the puppets show up and start killing everybody. I don't wanna ruin everything... I kind of like how Joe Bob Briggs used to do this, "a couple nice sets of boobs, a domination scene where the lady gets drilled in the face (with a drill you perverts), dude has a chick puppet bite his nips, then puke up leeches on his chest, um, what else, resurrection by black magic, and all kinds of shit. check it out, and come on back here when yer done." That's my Joe Bob Briggs impression. Anyway, in the end...
****Semi Spoiler Alert****
i have a question, when Gallagher's wife grabs the white witch's dead stuffed dog, and then it comes to life, are we to gather that she now delves into the black magic? Does she want to be the puppet master??? Who knows... I guess I'll have to watch some of the sequels. more bad than awesome... but watch it anyway. word.
Alahoyus everyone. Here's another childhood flick that just falls to pieces when watched years later. I remember thinking this was great when I was young, but its just fucking godawful. Directed by Steve Miner, the man who brought you FRIDAY THE 13TH parts 2 & 3, WARLOCK, and SOUL MAN, you have 3 dudes from 80s television trying to pull off this horror flick. William Katt from GREAT AMERICAN HERO, Bull from NIGHT COURT, and Norm from CHEERS star in HOUSE (1986)!!!
So, it starts off awesome enough... A grocery boy delivers a bag of stuff to some old lady. She doesn't seem to be home, and the boy calls for her, over and over again. He hears something when he's at the door up the steps, so being the curious delivery boy he is, he creeps up the steps trying to see what's become of old mrs. Hooper. What to his surprise does he find but old Mrs Hooper swinging from a rope in her bedroom. He fucking splits on his little scooter accordingly.
Cut to a scene where you have the dude from GREAT AMERICAN HERO. He plays a horror writer. You find out Mrs Hooper was his aunt. She raised him, and last time he was there, something happened where his son disappeared and his fucking wife left him, and he sort of got writer's block from all that. So he's telling everyone he's gonna write this story about being in Vietnam. Everyone is like, "boring!", and he's like, well, I have to do it. It's been bugging him, see. So he goes to the old house for some solitude, but finds out he has a super nosy neighbor in Norm from CHEERS.
All of a sudden shit starts getting weird. He hears noises. Then he sees his dead aunt RE-hang herself in her bedroom... You'd think this would be enough for him to be like, FUCK THIS... IM OUT. but he sticks around. His dead uncle's fish comes alive on the wall, tools start flying around, he accidentally shoots his wife in the chest with a shotgun. Cops come in to check him out. This fucking weird thing comes outta his aunts closet and tries to get him...
He's having all these flashbacks from Nam, and he can't tell whether they're dreams or what. Apparently he left his buddy Bull from NIGHT COURT behind in Nam, and the Vietnamese took him and tortured the shit out of him. So Bull is pissed. Then he kills this fucking gross chick & tries to bury her in the backyard, and this hot ass (literally) neighbor lady seems like she wants to party with him, but she just wants him to babysit (BOGUS)... and then while he's doing that these 2 weird ugly monsters try to drag the baby up the chimney. GAH is still looking for his kid Jimmy too by the way. Anyway, he gets Norm in on the action, and harpoons the closet monster one night at like midnight. But the Great American Hero gets sucked into the closet anyway, which is NAM, for him. I guess. I think you're supposed to get that the House wants you to fight your inner demons or some shit. He escapes after he figures out that its Bull Shannon that he has to fight. Norm is drunk on 3/4ths a handle of Jack, and passed out. GAH goes to the garage and sees his aunts painting and uncovers a pic of his son screaming in the bathroom mirror. So he goes to the bathroom, busts the mirror out and a bunch of monsters try to get him. He whacks them with a razor. Then he somehow ties off, and belays himself down into the blackness inside the mirror.
Then he runs into the flying skull with wings thing that "Revenge Sevendust" use for their symbol, and it steals his shotgun and shoots his rope causing him to fall in the water back in Nam. He quickly finds his son locked up, and Bull is like firing on him. BAPBAPBAPBAP BAPBAPBAPBAP. He escapes thru the swamp back to into his aunties swimming pool, but Bull Shannon escapes NAM-hell or whatever too, and he's coming for him. Then there's like a 20 minute chase, but ultimately GAH is like, "im not scared of you anymore"... like a fucking 10 year old wrote this. And he takes his son, and then sticks a grenade in Bull's chest. BOOOOOOM!!! And then the house is on fire, and then his ex wife drives up in a taxi???? I thought he blew her away an hour ago! And how the hell did she know to get there right on time? and then the stinger: William Katt standing there on his steps, smirking at the camera- freeze frame. FUCKING GARBAGE. but hey, don't get me wrong. I loved it.
'You can clean up the mess, but don't touch my coffin."- Django
ok, this is totally weird, but this is the 2nd flick I've reviewed by Sergio Corbucci this month. Superfuzz was also directed by him years later. and now that I look at it, Terence Hill looks uncannily like Franco Nero from his role here in Django... check it:
Wow, I just looked it up, and Terence Hill is 2 years older than Franco Nero. Strange. I would've thought Franco was his dad. Anyway, this also marks my second review of a Franco Nero film after reviewing KEOMA earlier in the year. One of the earliest, most violent (up until then) spaghetti westerns, Corbucci really had it down when he made DJANGO!!!
Django is the story of a lone gunman who fought for the north during the civil war, walking the western deserts in search of revenge dragging along behind him a coffin. He comes upon some Mexican dudes basically stringing up this chick named Maria, and then these white dudes with red masks kill the mexicans, and start to kill the woman themselves. Django isn't gonna have that, so he kills those dudes and tells the girl he has to go to town. When he gets there, he goes to the whore saloon that serves both the mexicans and the remnants of the southern army, still operating under some dude named Major Jackson. The story really reminds me of this book I read by Cormac McCarthy called BLOOD MERIDIAN. In that book, even after the war is over, jerks like Major Jackson kept scalping the Native Americans, and when they couldn't get them, they'd go kill some Mexicans. Its a terrible thought, and something they don't speak much about in history books, but it happened. So basically this Jackson is just killing for fun, and taxing the citizens and being a really bad man. I don't wanna give away the best part, but Django has it out for his ass. He spits this wine cork in this smug preacher's face in one scene. Its so badass. Then that guy gets his ear cut off later. Anyway, Django takes care of them, then the story takes a turn, and you find out he has a plan to rob a shitload of gold from the Mexican border with the help of some Mexican friends of his own. He does this, and then, well, like I said, why ruin it? This bad motherfucker is streaming right now on Netflix instant, so make it happen, yall. thumbs up.
"When I was little, my father was famous. He was the greatest Samurai in the empire, and he was the Shogun's decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 lords for the Shogun. It was a bad time for the empire."- Daigoro (Cub)
"They will pay... In rivers of blood!"- Ogami Itto (Lone Wolf)
"Your technique is magnificent. When cut across the neck, a sound like wailing winter winds is heard they say. I've always hoped to cut someone like that someday to hear that sound, but to have it happen to my own neck ---is ridiculous."- Claw (Master of Death)
Rounding out the "Big 3 Cult Ninja/Samurai/Black Belt movies" (the others being Riki-Oh, and The Crippled Masters) we have arguably the greatest samurai movie of all time. This flick is simultaneously as beautiful and as bloody as they come. Originally released in Japan as a six film series beginning in 1972 based on the long running manga comic series LONE WOLF AND CUB, the first 2 films were recut, and released in the US and Britain in 1980 as SHOGUN ASSASSIN!!
Most people who first watch the film recognize the voice of the dubbed voice of Daigoro in the first few moments as the sample in the beginning of the GZA's debut solo record "LIQUID SWORDS". Daigoro comes on to explain that his father (Ogami Itto) was a "famous" man. He was the "Shogun's" killer for years, until the Shogun's mind became infected with "devils". The Shogun became untrusting and sent his guards to kill Ogami Itto. In the original films, there was a war between the different clans, and the Shogun was like one of the head Emperors or some shit. Anyway, he sends his goons to off Ogami Itto, but Ogami was out doing some samurai shit. The goons killed his wife, and shamed his honor. So Ogami freaked out, swore vengeance and became the mad one, the mad wolf, or the Lone Wolf. He quit his job with the empire, and was gonna split, but the Shogun had other ideas.
The Shogun made Lone Wolf win his freedom by fighting the Shogun's son. Wolf did it with ease. Then he comes and says, ok you won your freedom, but you didn't win the freedom for your son, so hand him over, we're gonna sacrifice him since you killed my son. Wolf is like, "Bull-shit!", and he starts hackin dudes up. He even kills the Shogun's other son. Shogun's like, I'll send every son I have up against you. Wolf is like, I'll kill every ninja in this world you motherfucker.
So then, the Wolf asks his son to make a choice, choose a ball or choose the sword. If he chose the ball, Wolf would kill him and he would rest in peace with his mother, if he chose the sword, he would walk along the path to hell with his father. Needless to say, he chooses the sword. Then they set out, always wary of what lay on the road ahead. Lone Wolf slices and dices his way throughout their journey easily defeating every enemy with a giant spray of blood across the screen. Its beautiful. The end of the story shows how they make money on their journey. Selling his services as a secret assassin to those who can't protect themselves from the empire's taxing lords, he is set on a journey to find and kill the Shogun's brother. The journey takes them on a ship, through the desert, and against 3 men known as the Masters of Death. The Masters of Death look as though they were the inspiration for the "Three Storms" in my favorite movie of all time BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA.
So... I would go ahead and give this movie the highest rating that I can give a flick. Find yourself a copy and buy it, and watch it at least once a year with a giant pizza and a couple buddies. word up. PS, the goddamned soundtrack sounds like it was written by John Carpenter. Its amazing. Turns out it was the singer from Paul Revere and the Raiders, Mark Lindsay. Ba-zong!
"Mellow greetings. What seems to be your boggle?"- Guard
"Rat? This is a rat burger? ...Not bad."- John Spartan
"But there's just one thing I wanna know... How's that damn three seashell thing work?"- John Spartan
A truely bad/awesome flick, 1993 brought us a summer blockbuster loosely based on ideas from Aldous Huxley's novel, BRAVE NEW WORLD. Yet another future cop flick, this was the first flick that popped up yesterday when I loaded Netflix onto my IPhone. What a killer choice! Starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, & Sandra Bullock w/ Denis Leary, Rob Schneider, and cameos by Jack Black, and Jesse "the Body" Ventura, I'm proud today to review DEMOLITION MAN!
Wow! I'm surprised how this holds up. The basic story is that in 1996, shit is hitting the fan. Drug gangs run the city of Los Angeles, and they have the whole city sectioned off. One of the toughest and meanest is Simon Phoenix (Snipes). He's been pursued for over 2 years by John Spartan (Stallone) a cop who has the nickname "the Demolition Man" because the blows shit up from time to time when catching bad dudes. He finally catches Phoenix, but is framed for involuntarily murdering 20 or so kids on a bus. They both get thrown into this new cryogenic jail facility, Phoenix forever, and Spartan for 70 years. Fast forward to 2032... Phoenix is up for parole, and somehow he has the knowledge to escape. He is awakened into a society that is unfamiliar to violence because after "the big one" (an earthquake that destroyed most of old LA and killed millions in 2010) the cities Santa Barbara, LA, and San Diego were combined into a giant utopian city built on peace. No "murder death kills" (no one has died besides anything but natural causes) have happened since the earthquake. So when Phoenix comes out and starts murdering everyone, the cops have no idea what to do. Lenina Huxley (Bullock) and an old cop named Zach Lamb suggest bringing the only man to ever bring Phoenix to justice back outta his icy snooze. Blah, Blah, Blah... they do it, and immediately Spartan is disgusted by what he sees. He calls the way they live their lives "fascist" and says it makes him wanna puke.
But here is why I find the movie great. There are a lot of funny ideas in it. Example number #1- in this future society, everything that's deemed bad for you is deemed illegal. So everything from cursing to salt, to alcohol, contact sports, meat, chocolate, uneducational toys, gasoline, anything spicy, abortion, or even having a baby without a license. Even when Huxley asks Spartan if he wants to have sex, he starts getting ready, and she comes out and puts a helmet on his head. When he suggests they do it the "old fashioned" way, she's like, "what, you mean the exchange of bodily fluids??" Then there's the idea of being fined for cursing out loud. There are sensors that are chiming throughout the whole movie..."John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute." Then there's the 3 shells in the shitter. Spartan can't figure it out. They laugh at him and the idea that "in the 20th century they used wads of paper..." I've always thought that idea was amazing. And finally, the funniest one to me was the idea of the Franchise wars. they only mention this once, but there's a scene where this dude asked to take some of the characters to dinner at "taco bell". And he looks as if he's very pleased with himself. Spartan is like, "uh... ok." Then Huxley explains that after the franchise wars, only one restaurant was left. "Now all restaurants are Taco Bell." and that's it. It only leaves you wondering... WTF? What happened? I would love it if there were franchise wars. Do you think the fry cooks would all get raises? or at least some battle helmets? There's so many very subtle references and critiques on modern society and free will here that if you aren't quick, you might miss, and chalk this up to just another shitty action movie. Sinister heads of state think they are doing the right thing by building a "better" society, but in reality are demonizing the poor, and trying to get rid of them altogether! They are after the "Scraps" who are just poor people living in the sewers and ruins of old LA who want to live "free" and are trying not to starve to death. Heavy shit man! much deeper than your typical action flick. What else? Sting redid the old Police song, "Demolition Man" for the end credits, and its hilarious. I think I may have finally found a rating system to use. I should use the Demolition Man "3 shells" system to rate movies. 1 shell is total shit. 2 shells rides the line between total shit, and totally awesome, and 3 shells is a perfect wipe! this one is 3 shells. ah fuckit, that's too confusing. I recommend it, and its now on netflix instant. word up.
"Hair's like a woman. You treat it good and it treats you good. Ain't that right honey? You hear what I'm saying? Yeah, you got to hold it, caress it, and love it. And if your hair gets out of line you take a scissor and say, "Hair I'm going to cut you." - Doodlebug
"that's what I call sum extra, HEAVY, DUBBLE-DUTY stuff!! MMM-MMMM!"- ol dude
A high quality blaxploitation flick if I ever saw one, you can tell they actually dropped some duckets on this one! Like the funky female version of James Bond, there was no tougher than Tamara Dobson. Also starring Bernie Casey, Antonio Fargas, and a hilarious Shelly Winters, bad/awesome flicks review takes on CLEOPATRA JONES!
What I found impressive right in the beginning of this one compared to others of the genre was that they introduce the character as she is off in Turkey infiltrating someone's poppy field and instructs some official looking dudes to "blow up the poppy field". The wide frame has just had her fly in over this beautiful turkish landscape by helicopter and sashay down through a double line of all these Turkish dignitaries looking like one of the most fashionably dressed and beautiful super models one could ever hope to see, and then she's the one telling people to blow up these poppies, and our work will never be done, til we "get it all off the streets and outta the reach of the kids". Typical fare for blaxploi films, but both beautifully orchestrated and believably rendered. I mean the director wants us to know we are dealing with one bad mamma, and it comes across. From there, we are introduced to "Mommy" (Shelly Winters) a big shit dope dealer back stateside, who is absolutely furious at Cleo for burning up her poppy field. Mommy's business is already deteriorating and Cleo's blow has proved to be a breaking point. Mommy comes up with a plan to get Cleo back stateside so she can keep all of her crops from being destroyed. She calls in a favor to a crooked cop and has Cleo's pet project Safe house for kids trying to get off drugs raided, and a huge bag of heroin planted on one of the residents.
Cleopatra comes back to town, and is totally pissed. She kills a couple dudes straight off the airplane, and just flashes her "special agent" badge and walks straight outta the fucking airport!! haha!! no questions asked! I know shit was different back then, but come on! No paperwork whatsoever?? Bullshit! Anyway, I guess I shouldn't give away too much on this one, but let's just say there's a special appearance by Florida from Good Times!! and her sons are these bad ass karate dudes! (of course!) and what else? Cleopatra drives the sweetest corvette you've ever seen with a crazy extra on the T-top that makes it raise so it doesn't mess up her afro when she's getting out of the car!! TUFF!! pretty sick car chase through the same drainage ditches that are in T2 between her vette and a badass mustang, a hilarious character named Doodlebug who has some pretty funny sidekicks, some motorcross, and plenty of action. You can find this guy at Big Lots for like 5 bucks or maybe even less. Pick it up!
"It's my hair, isn't it? You don't like my hair."- Harry
Alahoyus! Now this is more like it! Another childhood awesome flick completely debunked! Well not completely... How could a movie starring Chris Penn, Eric Stoltz, Lea Thompson, with cameos by Ben Stein, Randy Quaid, Rick Moranis, Ron Wood, the "pussy wagon" guy from KILL BILL, and Lee Ving from Fear, written by Cameron Crowe as a follow up to "Fast Times...", and a score written by Eddie Van Halen possibly be anything but amazing?? Well watch this and find out... Bad/Awesome personified, all of those people trying their best to make a fantastic comedy with no discernable plot whatsoever- in THE WILD LIFE!!
It took me a very long time to find a copy of this. It has only ever been released on VHS and Laserdisc (I think because Cameron Crowe doesn't want it to get out that his name is attached to such a big flopping stinker... but wikipedia says its because of soundtrack issues... somebody in Steppenwolf is looking for the big bucks...). Its one of those movies that you try to remember the name of and then after explaining what it's about, everyone goes, "OHHHH YEEAHHH!" The fucking thing is worth watching to see Chris Penn try to out-Spicoli his brother as a super thin young wild buck. Seems like they got everyone to be in this thing. You'll even recognize the little brother as the "other" kid from WEIRD SCIENCE (opposite AMH {shorthand for Anthony Micheal Hall [duh]}). Story goes (if you can call it that) its the end of summer. Almost time for school to be back in sesh. Tom Drake (Penn) and Bill Conrad (Stoltz) work at the bowling alley. Bill is outta school and getting his own place. He's recently busted up with his chick (Lea Thompson) who is porking this cop (who turns out to be married). Tom is like a local wrestling star wildman who goes out with this chick with terrible 80s hair and style who works in the mall at a shop with Rick Moranis (who fucking knocks it outta the park as always.) Bill's lil brother is Jim who is tuff as shit and obsessed with Vietnam. He doesn't know if he'll go back to school yet or not, because he's fucked i guess.
Tom decides he want to marry his chick but she's like no way dude, yer crazy... He tells his buds that she said yes, and that they're gonna have a stag party. Bill's rent is too high, so he gets Tom to move in with him. They go to "Les Girls" and get in a huge slugout. Tom starts raging all the time, and pisses Bill off. Jim takes his buddy to meet Charlie (Quaid) a Nam vet. Charlie turns out to be a junkie, and Jim splits. Bill finds out about his chick porking the cop, and goes to tuff him up. He gets sauced, but his lil bro Jim fixed the pigs up real good, dig? Crash, Huge doughnut to the copmobile. Bill tries to pull it together in the 7th inning stretch only to come home to a rager to end all ragers in his swank bachelor pad, with Lee Ving the cable guy hanging and so many partyers that the place has no room. Tom and his wrestling buds take care of that by ker-smashing the wall down. "Lawsuit." Bill gets her in the closet. Tom kidnaps his girl. IF, (big if) IF you can find it... get some "burlacious gange buds" and it'll prolly be worth it. still gotta come up with a sweet rating system. one thumb up. one somewhere else.
Ok, so for the last movie... I got called out for reviewing an awesome/awesome movie... so, the only way to redeem myself was to find and review a truly bad/bad movie. Then the balance shall be restored. I have to admit, when I was a kid, this movie was awesome. I even remember when Robocop came out, thinking that somehow they had gotten part of the idea from this movie. Upon long overdue rewatching... this thing is a pile of dogshit. Terence Hill and Ernest Borgnine in SUPERFUZZ!
So the story goes, Dave Speed is this rookie cop in Miami who is always goofing up. Ernest Borgnine is the sarge, and he sends him out to collect the bread on this parking ticket... Speed goes to it, finds out he has to deliver the ticket way out on a deserted Native American reservation. He has to canoe there. So, while he's on his way to do that... NASA decides to fire an experimental missile over the reservation. I have know idea how this was supposed to fly in the real world, but I guess it WAS 1980. Anyway, the reservation has been evacuated and Speed is like, "where is everyone?" He starts shouting hello, figures it a lost cause, hangs the ticket on a teepee, and decides to split. When he tries to get back in the canoe, there's an alligator in it. At first he's gonna shoot it, but he can't bring himself to do it, so instead he decides to fire his pistol into the air. When he shoots into the air, the fucking bullet hits the rocket?!? causing it to explode and then mushroom cloud around him, covering him in this red powder. No word on the condition of the alligator. Everyone thinks he dies, but he's fine. When he gets back to town, he sees Borgnine, who has been busted down to traffic duty for sending an officer into the shit. Borgnine busts his chops and calls bullshit on him even going out there because he says nothing could survive that. Right away Speed notices that he has powers "far beyond those of mortal men". Powers like super strength, speed, telekinesis, he sees the future, etc. But no one believes him because the powers don't work all the time. The gag is, his powers fail if he sees the color red. He starts to fight crime, and eventually the mob who are counterfeiting bills around town. They kill the Sarge and frame Speed. Then the cops try to kill Speed, unsuccessfully. Probably the worst thing about the flick was the constant theme song. "Supah-Supah". Anyway, this is cornball to the max, sped up film for special effects, mobsters that counterfeit one dollar bills instead of 100s. Its killer if you're 9 years old... other than that... skip it.
"Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?" - Sailor
"Speaking of Jack, One eyed Jack's yearning to go a peeping in a seafood store!" - Bobby Peru
"Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt." - Lula
The last of the flicks I watched while in the house on the beach in France, another chapter in the weird and wild mind of David Lynch. This one sort of hit home with me being set in Cape Fear, North Carolina and being about young lovers on the lam(b)(?) in a world of shit. Kind of reminds me of high school. A very violent and strange movie from beginning to end, from characters to dialogue and its delivery... Nicholas Cage, Laura Dern, Harry Dean Stanton, Diane Ladd, Crispin Glover, and Willem Dafoe in David Lynch's WILD AT HEART.
What a helluva flick. Its classic Lynch, with insane cameos, dialogue thats so cheesy that you can smell it coming off the screen, lots of violence and gore set against a backdrop of the broken American dream, this time viewed through the crystal ball of the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz. It starts off with Sailor (Nick Cage) beating the shit outta this dude named Bobby Ray Lemon, actually beating him to death. The dude pulled a knife on him because Lula (Dern)'s mother Marietta Fortune (Ladd) hired him to kill him because Sailor wouldn't fuck her in the bathroom. Sailor goes to jail for 5 years, gets out, gets picked up by Lula, and then they set off on a lover's adventure to California. Marietta hires a detective (Stanton) to follow them, and also a mobster named Marcellos Santos. The whole damn movie is great. They fuck a lot, and listen to a heavy metal band called Powermad. And they love Elvis, and there's a wreck where they see this chick croaks right in front of them.
Crispin Glover plays a weird cousin in a flashback story scene who loves christmas, and makes sandwiches all night and sticks cockroaches in his pants. Issabella Rossalina is in it as a killer, and the main chick from Twin Peaks as Glenda the good witch. There are many other assorted characters that you'll recognize from other flicks as minor characters... like John Lurie, and the dude from "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" that doublecrosses the boys... "sorry, i gotta do for mine"... But, by far and away, the best character in the movie is Bobby Peru, as portrayed by Willem Dafoe. A greasy slippery rapist rat fink hitman,
***SPOILER ALERT***
the penultimate scene in the flick is when he after doublecrossing Sailor in their feedstore robbery, accidently blows his own fucking head off with a shotgun. Man, the sound coming from the screen, I had to rewind it two or three fucking times. "So intense"! This movie won the Cannes film festival top prize in 1990, and was panned by critics everywhere... but they were all obviously full of shit, because this movie ruled. Also, Diane Ladd is Laura Dern's real mom. And she was even creepier than ol Bobby Peru. No shit!!! ok, double thumbs up. Check it out at all costs..... More soon.
"Tell us where to find the Bellasarious Memorandum, and we shall disappear... like a nightmare before the breaking day." - Durant
I love Sam Raimi, but talk about a shitty flick. This is one of those flicks that maybe you see once years ago, and maybe back then you were like, this is great OR, at least, that was pretty good. When you're a young dude or dudette, some things can seem amazing that are totally shitty. Sports for example. (That's sort of a joke). Ok, so like I said, I found a stash of VHS at this chateau in France, and I've been watching them. I thought I remembered this one being a really well done movie about a seedy underworld with a cool character trying his best to overcome the forces of evil, and with Sam Raimi at the helm, I had to revisit. Boy was I disappointed. Liam Neeson, & Francis McDormand in a piece of shit entitled DARKMAN.
To tell you the truth, I don't even know when it was that I saw this. I may have been taken by my folks with some neighborhood dudes to see this one hot summer day, and just been really high on kool-aid. Then again, it could have been one of those sleepover domino's pizza/oreos/coca-cola classic features. I can't remember. Either way, I was too young to discern how terrible Liam Neeson's acting was. Sam Raimi apparently wanted to do a big budget superhero flick, trying for Batman, and the Shadow. Unable to secure the rights for those, he said fuck it, and just made up his own character. The whole thing is NOT THAT BAD. BUT... i guess I've come to enjoy good/bad flicks so much, that when you see a bad/bad one, it just bums you out that much more.
the story is about a scientist who is trying to create some kind of synthetic skin, and he's almost there, except for that the skin disintegrates after 99 minutes. Finally he figures out that it won't melt if its in the dark. (I feel like in this day and age of plastic surgery that this whole movie doesn't make ANY sense anymore, and MAY be my problem with the whole movie. I think its become dated because of upgrades in technology.) So, buying into this, he also dates this chick who is a lawyer. She comes across a super badass named memo ("the Bellasarious Memorandum") and it says that her boss is bribing the board of directors allowing him to build a "super city". She splits to confront him on it, and he sends some gangster dudes (the nastiest one cuts off dudes fingers and collects them) to get the memo from the lab. I'm assuming that the lab was their apartment, because why the fuck would he take her paperwork to his lab?? But I digress. So anyway, they fuck him up, he becomes hideously deformed burning his hands and face and then blowing up the lab sending him flying into the water and assumed dead.
BUT... he didn't die, he was taken to a hospital as a john doe, and then treated with special techniques that cut his feeling off... Because he'd live in agony forever (if he woke up they said) but the bad news was that he'd go crazy because he couldn't tell how much adrenaline he was working up or whatever. Anyway, he wakes up, escapes, puts some of his old equipment together in an old warehouse, reconstructs masks of his face and his enemies faces and tries to go get his old lady back from the asshole who blew him up and stole her away. He succeeds, but I don't know, I was totally passing out... the one dude gets blown up in a helicopter but must've not died, because part 2 is called the return of Durant... and i don't even think he killed the main guy. Theres a couple cool scenes. He puts his regular face back on, tells his old lady he's fine, and now they're back in love, and then he goes to a carnival and wins her a stuffed elephant, but the redneck carny won't give him the prize, so he goes Bonkers, and wigs out, sees fire, and breaks the dudes fingers, grabs an elephant and just splits. So, its not all bad. There are some Raimi moments. Ok... I do not recommend this one. And that may be like the 2nd out of all of these that i don't recommend, so thats saying something. Last but not least, there's a special cameo at the end of none other than BRUCE CAMPBELL! He's the last mask Darkman puts on when he says fuck it, and splits from his chick to live the life he hates, but is forced to live.
If you have any bad/awesome flicks recommendations, leave them in the comments for me!! thanx for reading!!
“I've been dodging bullets since I was 14. No one can kill me, I'm blessed. I'm a fucking Catholic.”
Hello out there... if you read this vloggg with any frequency, you know that lately I've been writing about the weirdest and best/worst movies that I can remember watching growing up. Last night, I was digging around the chateau that I'm staying at in France, and found a badass collection of vhs on the back of a shelf in the living room. I thought I'd take advantage of reviewing some more classics and searching for a few that I haven't thought of in years. The first one that nearly jumped off the shelf in my hands was Harvey Keitel's outstanding performance in a movie that creeped me out beyond belief as a teenager, Abel Ferrara's BAD LIEUTENANT. (The trailer is ok, but doesn't really do the movie justice, so Ill put a link to a rad tribute some dudes made on youtube at the bottom of this review... word):
I was glad to get a chance to see this again, as a few friends have recommended seeing last year's pseudo-remake by Werner Herzog starring Nick Cage. Yeah, I was skeptical too, but even the snobbish of critics gave it some praise (Not that that really matters in the context of this vloggg, of course its better if its dogshit...). I can't remember exactly when I first saw this movie, but I'm pretty sure it was on skinemax or showtime?!? Like I said, I can't remember, but I do remember that I DID see the uncut nc-17 rated version w/ the naked dance, and the "beat off in front of the young girls" scene. Even with those 5 minutes cut out, this is definitely one of the most fucked up movies ever. I still cringe at the level of the destructive path this character is on. Harvey Keitel plays a cop (they never say his name actually) who starts the movie by dropping his kids off late to school, then as soon as they jump outta the car, he starts doing bumps of coke. And its all downhill from there. I'm not going to give you the whole plot of this flick, but it does have a bit of everything: excessive drug use including but not limited to cocaine, smoking crack, chasing the dragon, shooting heroin, drinking, prostitution, transvestites, he steals drugs from crime scenes and gives it to dealers to make money on it. And his heinous gambling problem is what sort of ties the whole plot together. He bets a shitload on a series between the Mets and the Dodgers, and Darryl Strawberry (who by now has started playing with LA) is up 3 games to 0 in a series of 7. The Mets make a comeback, and he just keeps doubling up on his debt as the movie goes along. There's also a nun who gets raped, and he starts investigating this crime somehow in his drunken stupor, and for those of you who have seen this already...
(SPOILER ALERT)
- what the fuck was up with when he tracks down the 2 dudes after the jesus/baglady shows him the goblet??? Why did he take them to the bus station? I figured they were dead for sure. But, I figure, the nun wasn't going to prosecute them, so he figured, he's such a fuck up, that who was he to judge them.... BUT- that still doesn't explain why he gave them 30,000 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! I mean, if we're talking redemption here, I'm 99% sure those 2 dudes did NOT split town. They probably took one look in that cigar box, and were like, "who the FUCK was that?" And then maybe moved across town, I don't know. That whole part just didn't make sense to me. Of course I'm not a drug addled maniac.
ok, so... I highly recommend checking this one out. And maybe Ill do a review of the Herzog one if its worth a shit. And maybe even if its not. More soon.
