Friday, November 26, 2010

bad/awesome flixxx review: ThanksKilling (2009)

my buddy Mike Scibetta hit me up last week and told me there was a Thanksgiving movie I had to see. We have always talked about hilarious and stupid wonderful flicks to get stoned to tha bone to for years, like Leprechan in the Hood and the Stoned Age, so I knew I should take his advice and check this out. Luckily it was on Netflix and Hulu so I made it happen last night. A cast of nobodys in a seriously low budge flick that was right up my alley, I highly recommend: THANKSKILLING!!

This movie is so bad, that it pretty much needs to be seen to be believed... HOWEVER... that is what I like so much about it. It looks really low budge, looks like it was made that way on purpose, and it camped up so hard that it actually is a bit more intelligent than it lets on. The opening scene had me hooked so that I had to watch the whole thing. but I don't wanna spoil it for anyone, so here's a spoiler warning:

It starts out with a titty onscreen and backs out slowly to reveal- yes, a set of boobs. And then it keeps backing out til you see a Pilgrim lady with her shirt undone leaning and panting up against a tree, looking behind her, resting for a moment until, bang, she's off running again. Then all of a sudden you see a close up of a turkey's face. He says, "Nice tits, Bitch!" and then raises a tomahawk/axe and then- Blood across the screen- opening credits: THANKSKILLING!

The premise of the rest of the movie is about a group of college students: a slut, a slob, a nerd, a jock, and a good girl who are on Thanksgiving break somewhere in the sticks of Ohio. A hermit's dog, "Flashy" accidentally pisses on a small totem pole sticking out of an Indian burial ground. The turkey comes out of the ground magically and slaughters Flashy.

The jocks jeep breaks down and the kids must camp for the night. The nerd tells them a story of the killer turkey that comes to life every 505 years in Crawtown. Then the turkey finds them and chases them relentlessly until he gets what he wants. Revenge. If you like horrible flicks, it gets no worse, or no better. We're talking- shit in coffee, a turkey getting a nut, a cop's face shaved off and used a disguise (BY A TURKEY), a montage of reading, the same joke told twice about Jon Benet Ramsey, pilgrim lady's boobs, and lots of death. You really can't go wrong with this one. I just hope they plan to make a sequel. Watch this now while you still have leftovers!!

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