Monday, October 31, 2011

Rocknowledgy episode 12 is up now!! on iTunes & other!

Valient Himself and the T-6000 go deep for all Hallow's eve. Pretty great mix this week folks, if I do type so myself...
Get it on iTunes or HEEEEEEEEERE.


Playlist of episode 12:
intro by T-6000,
Epitaph- Reflexion,
Raw Power- State Oppression,
Brownie McGhee- Back Door Stranger,
Cactus- Evil,
Children- Power Spirit,
Reigning Sound- I'd Much Rather Be with the Boys (Rolling Stones cover),
Beans- Mutescreamer (El-P remix),
Silver Jews- Random Rules,
Treepeople- Something Vicious for Tomorrow,
Winchester Widowmakers- Patient,
Zolar X- I Pulled My Helmet Off (I'm Going to Love Her),
RKL- We're Back, We're Pissed,
James Brown- You Can Have Watergate, Just Gimme Some Bucks and I'll Be Straight,
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion- High Gear,
Gary Wilson- Dream(s),
Simply Saucer- Low Profile,
Gaetano Belgium Vsakoaani Orkestar Fabri- Siki Siki Baba

Monday, October 24, 2011

Rocknowledgy episode 11 is up now!! on iTunes and other!

Rocknowledgy 11 is up Jack. on iTunes and Here.

Also- Rocknowledgy has a new request/bullshittin line. you can call or txt. Ill give it on the next podcast- or email valientthorr at gmail dot com

Valient Himself and the T-6000 Rule.

Playlist for 11:
T-6000 intro,
The Starlite Desperation- Let it Burn,
The Soft Boys- Positive Vibrations,
Gogogo Airheart- Mifi,
Pere Ubu- Final Solution,
Wimple Witch- Save My Soul,
Roger C. Reale & Rue Morgue- I Can't Control Myself (Troggs cover),
Ben Hewitt- Border City Call Girl,
Status Quo- Umleitung,
Sinkcharmer- As Nevada Burns,
Direct Control- Hollywood Secrets,
Vera Hamilton- But I Ain't No More,
NoMeansNo- All Lies,
Bush Tetras- Can't Be Funky,
Death- Pull the Plug,
T-6000- outro,
Sigue Sigue Sputnick- Love Missile F1-11

Thursday, October 20, 2011

bad/awesome flixxx review: Cyber Ninja (1988)

"Do not stand in my way. I have come to take back my body and soul." - Cyber Ninja

"I admire your courage- however- the ancestors of our enemy also engaged in blood sacrifice. We've tried to deal with them, but now the stakes are too high. The Subwabi clan is very clever. They are ruled by ambition and are not to be trusted." - Bishop of Darkness

"You do not have to preach to me the treachery of the Suwabi. But I- the great Sogi- know all of the Dark Overlord's mechaninja tear with exhilaration at the coming of our master" - Sogi

Wow. This is really bad. You can always tell the ones that are really bad by how they put you to sleep immediately. If it takes you three tries to get through a movie, then its fucking awful... or you work a lot and try to watch flicks when you're dead. Either way, this one is garbage. HOWEVER, it does have its charm. Unbelievably hard to follow- even though the plot is as simple as learning the alphabet. The villains' convoluted speeches are to blame. The amazing thing here is that driven by special effects (which are pretty impressive I'll add) they were charging $89.99 for a copy! BUT IF YOU CALL NOW... you get a second copy FREE!! Are you shitting me?? Watch the trailer and you'll see what I'm talking about. Were they trying to finance the film after it was made?? WTF?? Anyway, actors you've never heard of, in a film you've probably never heard of, that is like a sci fi/ western/ samurai/ fantasy/ occult movie rolled into one. Space witches and robot ninjas in CYBER NINJA!!

In the beginning there's a huge battle between this evil force with crazy advanced technology like heavily armed floating hover rafts and flying castles who employ a legion of mecha ninjas (which I guess are ninja robots) and a super old Japanese clan called the Suwabeh. The Suwabeh have a princess, an old master guy, and a bunch of young recruits with laser-firing swords who basically get slaughtered in the first battle. Even their main hero guy gets killed. His little brother is sad. Then there is a whole unspoken part that you are supposed to decipher from the convoluted speeches the bad guys give each other. Apparently- a bunch of time has passed (or not)(according to how you view the ending) and there's going to be big solar eclipse the next day that will fuel this huge tree inside of this living castle where the evil master is trying to be resurrected.

We don't know how he died, we just know that the bad guys, led by the arch bishop of darkness, who has a red spider thing on his back, and Shogi, a warlord with a removable face and white dreadlock whips are sucking all the blood from their enemies and putting it into this living tree inside the living castle. At the exact moment of the eclipse, they hope that the magnetic forces of the universe will somehow diddle the sensations already growing deep inside of them, and somehow cause their lord and master to be resurrected through that tree (with the help of the blood, and the soul of the strong warrior guy, and also the virgin princess {who they capture in a hover raft}).

OK, so while all of this is going on, the body of the warrior guy (SUPPOSEDLY, OR WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GATHER...MAYBE) has been resurrected by the arch bishop of darkness (who against his lord and master's will wants to turn to the side of darkness as a birthday present for the lord and master) into this super badass ninja that everyone calls the Cyber Ninja. They call him that because he is no ordinary Mecha-ninja. He's super rough and tough, and the bishop guy wants to harness his power for the side of evil. Too late, because the magnetic forces in the sky have seen fit to restore the Cyber Ninja's memory, and he knows that those guys are full of shit, and he's coming for his fucking soul back. The main Suwabeh master guy hires this sellsword samurai who asks for 5 volunteers of the Suwabeh clan to go on a rescue mission to save the Princess.

He picks 4 dudes, and the little brother of the main warrior who died asks if he can go to avenge his brother. The samurai tells him no way, but then he gets pissed and his little LED ear piece thing shows that he has no fear or something like that, because he gets picked (I don't know what it says, I can't read Japanese). So they head out, armed with these crazy, almost steampunk looking guns. And then when they get to the fortress, the 4 first Suwabeh are killed by Mecha-ninja pretty fast. But little brother does ok, and then they meet up with Cyber Ninja who is obviously on their side now. Those 3 storm the castle, and then there's the battle between them and Shogi. And they kill his ass, and then they steal a hover raft and crash it into the top of the castle. And then there's a battle between them and the dark bishop. And they kill his ass, but not before little brother is killed. And then they prevent the lord and master bad guy from appearing and they grab the princess and take off, just as the Suwabeh fire their newly developed Cannon technology. As they are flying home, the samurai kind of convinces the Cyber Ninja that HE was the little brother's big brother. And after being convinced, he JUMPS OUT OF THE FUCKING FLYING RAFT THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR, only to land like a cat on his feet, living to fight another day. Then the princess looks at the samurai and says, "there's no way that he could be the big brother", and the samurai says, "leave it be." I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN. Like why did he want him to think that if it wasn't true. So that he would have some kind of purpose in life? To protect the Suwabeh? I don't know, that shit went over my head. Or under my butt. Should you see this? I guess if you have insomnia.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Rocknowledgy episode 10 is up now!! w/ Neil Fallon of Clutch!

This week we have a very special guest. Neil Fallon from Clutch answers all my questions about his own personal rocknroll history. Hope you guys are great. I'm great. Thanx for your continued patronage. Tell 'em all!


Episode 10 playlist:

T-6000 intro
Clutch- Freakonomics
Valient Himself interviews Neil Fallon (spread out between songs)
Roy Orbison- In Dreams
Fleetwood Mac- The Green Manalishi (w/ the Two Pronged Crown)
West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band- Help I'm a Rock (Frank Zappa cover)
Blondie- Tide is High
Prong- Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck
Cro-Mags- Don't Tread on Me
Fugazi- Bed for the Scraping
Aka- Do What You Like
Willie Nelson- You Wouldn't Cross the Street to Say Goodbye
Dwarves- Motherfucker
Devo- Auto Modown
Excelsior- Uncommonly Smooth
Frijid Pink- Crying Shame
T-6000 outro
Turbonegro- Wipe It Till It Bleeds

Friday, October 14, 2011

bad/awesome flixxx review: Arena (1989)

"Oh, I could stay all night, folks, but I gotta go. A hand for the boys in the band, and remember, I hate your guts!" - Space comic

"I had this dream that one day I could come up here and fight in the Arena. There's just no room for real fighters up here anymore, at least not for humans." - Steve

""I've only got four hands!"" - Shorty

YES! Here we have another flick executive produced by Charles Band. Usually when you see his name attached to something, you can bet its gonna be pretty good/bad. OR if you see a movie about monsters fighting in space, you can pretty much guarantee I'm gonna be into it. This is pretty much like ROCKY- if all the cast members were out of the cantina in STAR WARS. So, yeah- it fucking rules. A cast of mostly unknowns (5 of which who went on to be in STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE & BABYLON 5) in ARENA!!!

Our story begins with a big match going down between current intergalactic space champ "Horn" and top contender yet out of date old fighter "Spinner" on a space station arena floating somewhere in the galaxy. Fry cook Steve Armstrong saved up all his life to go on the space station and get a job. Unlucky for him- he sucks as a fry cook. These 2 little fish dudes are trying to order a number 3, a number 5, and a number 7, and ITS TAKING FOREVER! His four armed boss Shorty is yelling for him to hurry up, but he just keeps fucking up. Horn slaughters Spinner. The fish kids start mouthing off and then Steve tells them to basically eat shit. The fish kids dad comes in and starts mouthing off, and then Steve comes out and he's like 7 feet tall. And they go toe to toe, and Steve throws him through a plate glass window. Turns out, the fish dad was a bigtime fighter himself named Fang, but Steve beat the shit out of him. Steve and Shorty get canned from the burger joint for fighting and Steve loses his room on the space station because he doesn't have a job.

Shorty is like, don't even trip, we're gonna get you all taken care of. So he takes him to an underground hide out with a bunch of homeless space colonists including the very last human contender/champ who is also now homeless. Another part of the story is that there are 2 rival space boxer managers: Quinn and Rogor. Quinn is the chick who managed Spinner and Fang. Now both of her fighters are out, and she wants to meet the human who beat one of them up. Steve is disillusioned by the whole space boxing scene now and wants nothing to do with it, so he turns her down. Rogor is Horn's manager. He is crooked as Hell, runs illegal gambling on the ship, and gives Horn special space steroid shots that make him ravage his opponents. He has an ugly assistant named Weasel, and a hot chick girlfriend named Jade who's a singer.

So, Shorty tries to gamble to win enough money to buy Steve a ticket back home to Earth, but loses terribly. But when the space cops come in to break up the gambling, Shorty grabs 15 large from the vault and buys Steve's ticket after they escape. Weasel tracks them down & takes them to Rogor. Steve takes a job with Quinn to get the money to pay Rogor back. Next day he fights some big ass grasshopper looking alien. He wins and then all the humans are psyched cause no human has one in like 50 years (even though the poster says a thousand). Steve quickly kicks all the aliens asses and then becomes the top contender.

So finally Rogor sends his chick Jade to bang Steve. And he does. And she drugs him and almost costs him the fight, but luckily they get him the antidote just in time. So even though the championship match is postponed for like an hour, it finally happens. So Rogor can't believe it and he calls Weasel to get his friend Skull to jack his head into the computer mainframe and mess with the "handicapper" system. Steve wins the first round even after being groggy from the drugs. But then they juice the handicapper against him. Then Shorty smells a rat ("or a weasel"). And he goes to take care of him. He throws Weasel off the catwalk to his death and frys Skull's skull, brains and all. With nothing to hold him back, Steve kicks Horn's ass even after Horn gets a steroid injection. Steve becomes the champ, Jade leaves Rogor, Quinn knocks Jade out. The End. If you like really bad space movies, this one is for you. Because even though its bad, its still good bad. It didn't make me pass out 10 minutes into it, if that's what you wanna know. Check it out!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Bad/awesome flixxx review: Willow (1988)

"Don't I know you? I stole the baby from you, Daikini! While you were taking a peepee!" - Franjean (Brownie)

"Burglekutt, you're troll dung!" - Willow

"Ooh, I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!" - Madmartigan

THIS is a great movie. I'm sure a lot of you remember this one, and probably even remember liking it, BUT if you haven't seen it in years and years, you should go back and give it another shot! It's incredible! Written by none other than George Lucas, and (I had know idea that it was) directed by (lil Opie Griffith) Ron Howard! Starring Warwick Davis (Wicket the Ewok) and Val Kilmer in a fantasy/sword/sorcerer flick entitled WILLOW!!!!

So right away the action begins when knowing there is a prophesy that says a girl baby will bring apart her downfall, evil sorceress Bavmorda commands all pregnant chicks be thrown into her dungeon in the land of Nockmaar. The girl baby is born in the dungeons identified by a birthmark on her arm. The midwife smuggles her out just before they are about to get her and kill her. Bavmorda freaks out and sends her hot redheaded daughter Sorsha and her chief security skull guy and guards after the midwife and the child. The midwife is able to hide for a while in the woods, til Bavmorda's weird dog monsters catch up with her in the woods and devour her. Luckily she found a floating patch of dirt to lay the baby on right before the hounds ate her up.

Two midget kids from a midget town find the baby by the river. The midgets are called Newlyns by themselves and Pecs by everyone else as a derogatory term. There's this farmer Newlyn named Willow who wishes he was a magician/sorcerer. His kids found the baby in between him getting chewed out by this jerk Newlyn named Burglekutt who's trying to get Willow's land. He told them to keep quiet but- too late, his old lady decides they have to keep the baby. So then it just so happens that the next day is the day where the head midget honcho wizard picks an apprentice. But all 3 applicants fail the test. Then the hounds come and ravage some cribs. Willow knows he must bring the baby to the council. The council says he must take the baby away from the town to a town with Dakinis (regular sized people). So Willow volunteers and gets a group of Newlyn warriors to go with him. They find this dude Madmartigan (Kilmer) in a crow's nest style cage left to die. No other soldiers will take the baby. Madmartigan promises he'll protect the baby. So they give it to him. On the way home, Willow sees a Brownie (like a woods gremlin) flying on an owl with the baby he stole from Madmartigan.

The queen of the brownies- Cherlindrea tells Willow that the baby (whose name is Elora Danan btw) has told her that she chose Willow to be her guardian. She gives him the sorceresses named Fin Raziel's magic wand (which is just an old stick) and tells him to go find her, and she sends 2 brownies to accompany him and show him the way. The brownies never shut up and like to get drunk. So they go on this long journey to find Fin Raziel. They find her but she's been turned into some kind of marsupial. Then they get caught by Sorsha. Willow tries to turn Fin Raziel back into a woman but she turns into a raven. Then the brownies spill love dust on Madmartigan and he falls for Sorsha. And then, Madmartigan escapes with Willow & Elora on a shield sled a la CHRISTMAS VACATION. "cereal varnish".

Ok, they hole up in this abandoned castle, and Madmartigan goes wild preparing to fight all the badguys basically by himself. He is preparing the battlements and all that, and then some trolls show up. Willow turns Fin Raziel into a goat. Then he accidentally turns one of the trolls into a goddamned 2 headed water leviathan, as big as shit. The battle starts goin off, and Madmartigan is killing motherfuckers left and right. Madmartigan's old buddy Arich shows up with reinforcements. Willow is holding his own too, eventually setting one of the heads of the creature on fire, finally killing it. Sorsha shows up and witnesses Madmartigan's display of badassery and falls for him. But alas, Elora Danen is kidnapped by the Skull faced knight badguy. They go to fight Bavmorda & get back the baby, but Bavmorda turns them all into pigs. Willow finally turns Fin Raziel into a woman again and she helps turn the troops back into humans. Willow & Fin Raziel go and challenge the bad guys at the gates and they order them killed. When knights ride out to do the deed, Madmartigan and the rest storm the castle and win their way inside. Fin Raziel then challenges Bavmorda to a duel, but in the end its Willow who uses a slight of hand trick to defeat Bavmorda. Then he gives the kid to Madmartigan and Shorsha and splits back home to midgetville to get laid by his wife. I highly highly highly recommend this one. I wish that this one did better at the theaters, because it was going to be a lot longer story. If it was made now, they'd probably have done all of them. But as it stands, there are at least 3 sequel books about Elora Danen as a teenager. They are called the Chronicles of the Shadow War series written by George Lucas and Chris Claremont. I'm ordering them off Amazon as I type. Word up.

I wrote an article on Occupy Wall Street

I couldn't sleep the other night, so I stayed up and put my thoughts together and wrote an article. It got posted today over at Check it out right here, and sound off if you feel like you need to. I know I did. Thanks so much for checking it out:

RoCKNOWLEDGY episode 9 is up on ITunes, & elsewhere

Rocknowledgy episode 9 is up finally! Its free on iTunes and also for direct download here:

Sorry for this one being late everyone! Because I uploaded the first 5 at one time, it filled up my space last month. It shouldn't happen again! Thanks for listening!!

Its frustrating how amazing these shows are compared to how short they are. One hour a week? Come on, I could do this shit for hours without taking a break! I have before! (and someday, I will again.) In the meantime, here's your weekly dose of everything that is good in the world of music.

Rocknowledgy Episode 9 Playlist:

T-6000 intro
Aynsley Dunbar Retaliation- Watch 'N' Chain
Socrates Drank the Conium- Who is to Blame
Libyans- Blood and Rust
Frank Black- Speedy Marie
The Adventures of Robert Savage- Road Apples
Death in Action- Perfect and Beautiful
Kiddus I- Graduation in Zion
Mastodon- Black Tongue
Blonde Redhead- Melody of a Certain Three
The Stanley Brothers- Rabbit in a Log
Bill Callahan- Eid Ma Clack Shaw
RTX- Nature's Way (Spirit Cover)
Gram Parsons- Big Mouth Blues
The Minutemen- Party with Me Punker
Piedmont Charisma- The First Time is Yours
Yellow Magic Orchestra- Behind the Mask
T-6000 outro
Kiss- Hard Luck Woman

Saturday, October 8, 2011

bad/awesome flixxx review: Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

"I wanna buy a gun... Keep talkin' white trash, but I'm more interested in something that'll take the head off a honky at 20 paces!" - Mama Washington

"Taste some of Mama's home cookin', Adolf!" - Mama Washington

"Slime-sucking Neanderthal! How dare you question my loyalty?" - Eva

You guys are messing with a tried and true Troma fan here. I have always loved Troma movies whether it was staying up late to watch THE TOXIC AVENGER on USA's "UP ALL NIGHT" with Rhonda Shear (or maybe Gilbert Godfried) or watching CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH on Joe Bob Brigg's DRIVE-IN THEATER on The Movie Channel as a young dude. Either way, this is one of those Troma flicks that fell by the wayside for me. I never saw it until recently, and while my love for Troma hasn't faltered, I believe this flick to be somewhat of a let down. It's not THAT bad, but its not THAT good either. A host of terrible unknowns in a boring flick known as SURF NAZIS MUST DIE!!!

I guess they can't all be winners. This one begins with a terrible earthquake that rocks the California coastline. We are informed that the devastation is unbelievable. Surf gangs on the beach begin dividing up the coastline to decide who's turf is who's. Its pretty confusing as to what is going on a for a little while. And there is a lot of stock footage of dudes surfing some amazing waves. Most of these waves look big enough to be like North Shore waves in Hawaii. BUT... I guess if a crazy earthquake happens, no one really knows how big they'll be along the coastlines of the US.

We immediately find out this asshole guy who calls himself Adolf is getting his gang together and forming them like a new reich movement. He's enlisting young ass kids, lil skate rats, and dumb high school guys like Smeg. He has a very ugly inventor guy on his team named Mendala, his ugly girlfriend Eva, a mercenary tuff guy, and some rouge guy named Hook. They're all dicks, and they have something going on with a biker gang. The main biker is named WHEELS!! HA! And I have no idea what they were doing with him. Maybe buying supplies? Anyway, there's also this old lady who gets put in a home by here son Leroy. She doesn't want to follow the rules and she starts gambling with the old ladies in her nursing home. We are led to believe she's way tougher than she seems.

Ok, at some point the nazis kill Leroy and then the shit is on. Whatever pact they have with the other 3 surf gangs has been annulled. So they kill the Asian gang, and they kill the preppy gang, and they kill whatever the other gang is. More stock footage of surfers. There's no real murders that actually happen out on the surfboards. The guy Mendala built this switchblade surfboard, but they don't even use it. It was a 15 second sight prop!!! BOGUS! Anyway, Leroy's mom is super bummed. She goes to the funeral and then she vows revenge. Now truly- the surf nazis MUST DIE.

So Smeg's mom won't let him leave, but he's got information. He is flirting with two chicks on the beach and Leroy's mom is staking out the beaches where old ladies have been getting their purses snatched. She here's Smeg say the N-word. Then she slams him up against a wall where (interestingly enough) a King Crimson album cover is painted like graffiti. Eventually she arms herself with a gun and a grenade and takes out the neo-nazis one by one. She gets down to Adolf and Eva, and she basically kidnaps a dude in a boat and makes him go after them on their surfboards. She runs over Eva's head. DECAPITATION! and then Adolf kills the boat captain. When she turns around to get him, he jumps aboard and she- quick as a cat- sticks the gun into his mouth and pulls the trigger. Then she rides off on a motorcycle cackling like a maniac. The only thing I really like about this movie is the weird menacing keyboard soundtrack that repeats over and over again. Its the only thing that really sticks. I'd say skip this one because, really, there's only thousands of other movies that are a better investment of time. Excelsior!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

bad/awesome flixxx review: Dead Alive (1992)

"Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys. The natives use them in black magic rituals. Don't ask me how, probably suck the blood of virgins, eh, eh?" - Zookeeper

"The Devil's among us! Stand back boy! This calls for divine intervention! I kick ass ...for the Lord!" - Father McGruder

"Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, didn't ya? Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?" - Uncle Les

Considered one of the goriest and bloodiest movies of all time, Dead Alive is a New Zealand comedy/horror masterpiece. Its worth owning the flick for the last 15 minutes alone. Originally titled BRAINDEAD, and directed by Peter Jackson (LORD OF THE RINGS, MEET THE FEEBLES) this is one of the best zombie movies that exists. I like it because they never really specifically call them zombies, and its never discussed as a zombie movie, its usually discussed as a gore flick. There's SO MUCH blood that it makes maids blush and weak men's bellies gurgle. A cast of unknowns (at least here in the states) star in DEAD ALIVE!!!

The story begins with a dude on Skull Island capturing a Sumatran Rat-monkey (born from tree monkeys raped by plague rats). He outwits the natives and ditches his guide on the way out of the wild. But hitting a rock, he falls back into the jeep and is scratched by the monkey. The other dudes cut off his arm, then his other one and then just kick his ass out of the jeep. The disease carrying monkey makes it overseas tho, and is taken to a zoo in New Zealand. Meanwhile our protagonist Lionel has the very shitty job of caring for his widowed mother who has the shittiest attitude ever. He meets this Latin lady (Paquita) who falls for him because her grandmother read her some tarot cards.

Lionel is burdened by tasks his mother gives him to do. She's a very shitty person, and we don't like her right away. Lionel takes Paquita on a trip to the zoo and his mom comes to spy on them. She leans back too far and is bitten by the rat-monkey. She screams and then squashes the monkey's head. Here is one of our first displays of ramped up gore. They take her home, but she is really mean to Paquita, and so Lionel starts giving Paquita the cold shoulder so he doesn't upset his mother. Man his mom had him so whipped! GROSS! Ok, so then, his mom starts spurting gross fluids and her skin is peeling off, and she's basically dying. He calls a nurse and the mom tries to kill her. He's hiding all this shit from Paquita. Mom escapes and his hit by a bus. Everyone thinks she's dead now, so they are going to have a funeral for her. Lionel has been shooting her up with tranquilizers and tries to do so when she's in her coffin. He ends up rolling with her on the floor during the funeral service. Then he has to dig her up after she's buried to give her more tranqs. A gang of thugs come calling and are bitten by mother. The priest is some kind of fucking karate champ, and basically they all end up zombies that Lionel has to take care of.

Lionel's shady scheming uncle comes by and is only interested in trim. Well that, and shitting Lionel out of his mother's house and fortune. Once he sees stiffs in the basement he tries to blackmail Lionel into giving him everything. Lionel goes to speak with Paquita's grandmother. She gives him a necklace to ward off evil. Paquita and Lionel have a falling out because he keeps dodging her to conceal his actions. She starts dating the milkman. Lionel by now has a whole collection of zombies in his basement. The preacher and nurse fucked and within a day (somehow) made a zombie baby. There's a very cool scene where Lionel is walking the baby in the park trying to see how other ladies take care of them. The baby makes a fool of him tho, escaping and he has to beat the baby to get him back under control. The looks he gets from the ladies are hilarious. Finally Lionel thinks its time to kill them all, and his uncle Les tells him to bury them or else. So Lionel shoots them all up with poison. But it turns out to be animal stimulant. The bite was from a rat-monkey initially so it only gives the zombies more power.

Just as all this is going down, Uncle Les and all his greaser mod friends show up for a rager party he's throwing. Paquita walks by and bails on the milkman to see what up with Lionel's party. Then finally Paquita learns what happened. The zombies all escape the basement and attack the guests creating hundreds of zombies. Paquita, Les, some chick with glasses, and Lionel have to battle the zombies in the bloodiest finale of all time. Lionel and Paquita kill all the zombies except one, and then Lionel must face his GIGANTIC mother, call her out of her secret bullshit, and then literally be "reborn". Lawnmowers, a living endocrin system, gallons of blood and more make this a classic beyond classic of the genre. These pics are only a taste of the madness. This is a MUST SEE. Do yourself a favor. Go for it.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

new Wired magazine reflects CARNOSAUR plot

I was pissing at a cookout the other day at my friend's house and I saw the new Wired magazine on the back of his toilet. Normally I wouldn't really give too much of a shit unless I was actually TAKING a shit, BUT something caught my eye. The cover of this reads: "Scientists know how to turn a chicken into a dinosaur. What could possibly go wrong?" Well- I've got one word for ya- CARNOSAUR!! Didn't they learn anything from Doc and that hippie chick and fucking Clint Howard? Diane Ladd is a madman or a madWOman! DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE!! ABORT MISSION! I'm sorry, but you need only watch as the T REX runs rampant and the heroes are killed in the end anyway to stop the virus from spreading to the rest of the populace. I thought these dudes over at WIRED magazine were smart. I guess I'll have to watch the sequels now to find out what to do next. Oh, well...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

ROCKNOWLEDGY episode 8 is up on ITunes!

Valient Himself and the T-6000 crank jams from all lands. 2nd month anniversary. Things are rolling. Episode Dedicated to protestors on Wall Street. #OccupyWallStreet

Playlist for Episode 8:

T-6000 intro
Sir Lord Baltimore- Hard Rain Fallin'
Cherry Vanilla- I Know How to Hook
Agent Orange- Bloodstains
Monotonix- Body Language
Iota- R.I.P.
Funkadelic- Standin' on the Verge of Gettin' It On
The Neon Boys- Time
Bad Brains- I and I Survive
Jerry Reed- The Claw
The Muslims- My Flash On You (Love/Arthur Lee cover)
Country Joe & The Fish- Super Bird
Wild Flag- Future Crimes
Testament- The Haunting
Goons of Doom- Fingered
ESG- Erase You
The Eyes- When the Night Falls
Valient/T-6000 outro
Timbuk 3- My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades